“The universe operates through dynamic exchange … giving and receiving are different aspects of the flow of energy in the universe. And in our willingness to give that which we seek, we keep the abundance of the universe circulating in our lives.” —Deepak Chopra of The Chopra Center
No one wants to be the friend who bestows a subpar present. Basically all of the sources, from the Bible to Deepak Chopra, spiritual leader extraordinaire, say that anything you give should be something you’d like to have re-gifted a few years down the line. Even better, you can get a gift back sooner than you’d think. There are several methods to ensure that you’ll benefit from more than just pride in giving the gift. If you adhere to these general premises, you will be guaranteed to have taken one step closer to truly understanding the art of gift giving. A few are as follows:
Assorted Gift Basket
I suggest a fair trade, hand-woven, river reed grass–infused basket from Greenstar. Of course, this suggestion can be substituted with any basket of your choice, but the aforementioned baskets are great for a collection of root vegetables or alpaca yarn. Fill the basket with goodies that the receiver hates, preferably perishable things, like beet-edamame-carrot-chipotle fat-free “hummus,” so they’ll have no choice but to give it back to you within a week. This way, there will be no guilt on either end, and you’ll get your favorite snack … for “free.” We can only hope the receiver has no use for the basket either, and maybe in a few months they’ll give you a comparable assortment within said basket for your half-birthday.
Your Mixtape
Awww. Or just deprivatize your favorite Spotify playlist and let the giftee follow it. Despite how embarrassing it may be to you, it really comes from the heart, and that’s what counts. Sharing music is amazing on both ends; it may even be more gratifying on the giving end, which, again, is the best type of gift. This gift is timeless. You can forever brag about how it was YOU who exposed this person to Glen Campbell and the Eagles, and how irresistible that Eagles song sounds in between those two Glen Campbell songs. No matter how many times you listen to a song you first encountered somewhere with a certain person, you feel the presence of said person each time.
Soap
Remember that time your best friend’s brother’s brother told you he was allergic to goat? Me neither, but you saw that really nice goat-milk soap at a Hanukkah sale and you knew it’d be perfect for anyone, ever, so you bought it for the brother, and the aunt, and the dog. But then the kid was allergic to goat! So he returned them all on overnight shipping with a regretful yet kind note and the soap was bequeathed unto you. Even though it was unintentional, you again came back around as the winner.
A Notebook
Short interlude: Please Grammy, I really don’t need another liger-print composition book, not even one made from 100 percent recycled materials (sorry Grammy), not even a decomposition book from Home Green Home. I just don’t. I’ve tried to record my dreams. I’ve tried to make lists. I’ve tried diaries. Sometimes I think my life may be worthy of a memoir and I try that. But all my attempts have filled only the first seven pages of the notebook you gave me for Solstice in 2004.
However, for everyone besides my Grammy, who has really exhausted the whole thing, giving a notebook as a gift is the only way to ensure that a friend is meticulously documenting all of your successful jokes and kindhearted actions. The first entry can read as follows: “[your name here] bestowed upon me the gift of this wonderful notebook, which was a courteous, intellectual, and entirely selfless act.”