Did you know that The Tattler is one of the oldest school newspapers in the country? With thousands of publications, dating as early as 1892, you can find almost anything you could wish for: from first-hand accounts of important events in history to what dessert was all the rage in 1958! But, without further ado, I hope you had as much fun reading my selections for this month as I had picking them out.
January 2019
Expiration Dates
By VALERIE CHEN
Almost all foods have an expiration date,
A time when they go rotten,
When they start turning a fuzzy
White or black and begin smelling like
Dead things. That’s just how
It is sometimes; you can’t enjoy those
Open cans and containers forever.
Now, do you ever wonder if
Other things have expiration dates?
If the memories we make and the
Experiences we encounter will end, too?
Will they become ugly images in our minds,
Decaying just like the expired food
Sitting at the bottom of our refrigerators?
Will we forget about them until, sooner or later,
We open that fridge door in our memories
And see all the disgusting, rotting, perishable things
That remain in the back of minds?
December 1998
Chic Not Geek
By DAVID VELLMAN
When I tell people I’m on the Math Team, the response is invariably, “What? You actually want to spend your free time doing math problems?” The only thing can answer to that is, “Well, yeah.” The truth is, the Math Team isn’t what many people think it is. It is not a group of nerds who get together to program their calculators. It is not a bunch of geeks who use their slide rules whenever possible. It is a group of ordinary kids who enjoy the opportunity to stretch their brains, enjoy the camaraderie of others on the team, and, although it isn’t absolutely necessary, enjoy math.
The problems we do are by no means easy. In fact, more often than not, they are better classified as “impossible.” I say from personal experience that you will improve substantially with practice. Furthermore, you don’t have to be really good at math, or even enjoy math that much. Very few of the puzzles require very advanced math. What they do require is the ability to think logically and clearly. So, what do you think? Give Math Team a try.
Who knows? Maybe you’ll find that math problems can actually be (gasp) fun!
The Math Team meets every Tuesday after school in H217.
We will travel to Binghamton on March 27 for the New York State Math League competition. For more information talk to Mrs. Teukolsky, the team’s faculty advisor and mathematical guru.
December 1998
Dancing in the Cafeteria
By JESSICA SHARKNESS
“Rock-step, one-two-three, one-two-three, rock-step, one-two-three, one-two-three…” If you walked into the cafeteria after school on Friday, November 7, chances are you probably would have heard Ken Wright, Physics teacher and swing dancing buff, calling out that rhythm, directing over 50 members of the new IHS Swing Club in the Jitterbug. The Jitterbug is a simple, six-count dance step that originated in the 1920’s and now is the new rage.
Wright taught the basic step and a few turns to eager IHS students during the first meeting of IHS’s new swing dance club. Nick Merola ’99 says that, “It seems like a really neat form of dancing; I like that it’s making a comeback.”
The club was the brain child of yours truly (Jessica Sharkness) and Jessie Thaler ’99. It was actually very easy to start a club. All that had to be done was to get a list of interested members, contract, and adviser, find a time, date and location for the meetings, and get Ms. Newton’s approval.
Interest was high: over 50 students showed up to the first meeting, and had a great time! Partners rotated, so students got to mingle with people they might never have talked to before. “I enjoyed interacting with people I normally don’t get a chance to interact with during school,” added Merola. “I think everyone there kind of comes together as a group and forgets about who’s ‘cool” and who’s not,” he observed.
Sarah Darcy-Martin 99 says, “It was fun because there were people there that I never thought would go. It was pretty funny to watch some people dance…or try to. But I think by the end, everyone got the basic steps, at least. It’s really cool that so many people are getting into swing dance and music.”
The club meets every other Friday in the cafeteria, and everyone is welcome. Members of the club (and non-members as well, for that matter) will be able to show their stuff” at IHS’s second annual swing dance, sponsored by Student Council, on Friday, December 18.
Tickets are $3 in advance only and will be sold the week before the dance.
January 2019
Why College Board Is the Worst
By ANNA WESTWING
AP exam season has ended, and many students are wondering whether a single number is worth the exorbitant fee and the countless hours of studying to take a test. The mastermind behind all of these AP tests is College Board. College Board has a monopoly controlling standardized tests, like the SAT, and ways to get college credit, such as AP exams. However benign it may seem, College Board does not exist to help students.
Much of what College Board offers seems tempting: the ability to pursue higher education, or perhaps, a boost in one’s college application. But in fact, College Board is not for students; it’s for schools. Is it easier to carefully review a college application, or look at a few numbers given to you by your friendly neighborhood College Board? And isn’t it even more efficient to plug those neat numbers into an algorithm, so you don’t have to use as much time and resources reading applications? Colleges do take other information into account, but the SAT is still a large factor in their decision-making.
Yes, College Board is useful, but it also unnecessarily takes students’ money. Why else would taking a three-hour exam cost ninety-four dollars? And to compound the fact that AP tests cost a lot of money, it costs even more money to send a single-digit number to a college of your choosing. But who can blame them? After all, it’s extremely costly to send an entire single number between computers in this day and age. And they’re doing the best they can by paying their CEO, David Coleman, only 750,000 dollars per year. For a non-profit, College Board is taking in an awful lot of money.
College Board also sells students information for less than two quarters. Your age, gender, and test scores are available to anyone willing to pay 43 cents. Some uptakers on this are JAMRIS, a military recruitment program, and the Student Search Service, a service that sends colleges information for selective advertising. Unsuspecting test takers are not sufficiently made aware of how their data is being used.
Finally, even at the cost of almost a hundred dollars, your rest, for which you’ve put in blood, sweat, and tears, may not even be judged fairly. An MIT study found that there was a direct correlation between scores and essay length. The length of a piece of writing is not a proxy for the quality and a rambling three page essay may be much worse than a succinct and well-written one-page essay. The professor, Les Perelman, found that he could guess the score of an essay by its length a whopping 90 percent of the time. He then reviewed the actual essays and found several factual inaccuracies in those that received high scores.
Unfortunately, going through College Board at least once in one’s education is pretty much inevitable. If not through AP classes, then through the SAT subject rests, which many colleges require. College Board and its strangling grip on the education system is unavoidable.
And unless it’s somehow stopped, its monopoly will stay and continue to be detrimental for students.
December 1998
Horoscope
By THE AMAZING PSYCHIC
Sagittarius (Nov 22-Dec 21) You will have a great month. Everything will be going your way. Help others when you have the chance and it will come back to you tenfold.
Capricorn (Dec 22-Jan 19) Ignore your friends and focus on your-self for a little while. It will help you realize all of your goals. Later on in the month let a friend take care of you and they will become a closer friend than you thought they were.
Aquarius (Jan 20-Feb 18) Now is the Age of Aquarius. Seize the day and the moment. Go after what you want. Let your family take some of the stress away on a nice family winter vacation.
Pisces (Feb 19-Mar 20) Now that you have a job, succeed in business. Don’t let success go to your head. Your family may seem distant for a while, but a reunion is in the making.
Aries (Mar 21-April 19) Your parents may seem harsh from time to time but all they want is for you to be happy. Allow them to coddle you and take some of your responsibility. Your friends will be jealous, as good fortune seems to beyours in spades.
Taurus (April 20-May 20) Your love life will seem dull and boring but it doesn’t matter because your scholastic aptitude will improve. A crush will become a significant other soon. Don’t fret about your picture retakes. You’ll be perfectly fine.
Gemini (May 21-June 21) Your friends will seem distant, but don’t worry sooner or later everything will turn around. Your love life will be busy to say the least. Accept it and enjoy the ride.
Cancer (June 22-July 22) Confront your worst fear and you will receive great strength. A love will help you conquer your fear and it will bring you closer than ever. Your friends will be jealous of the time you are spending without them; explain the situation and they will understand
Leo (July 23-Aug 22) Everything seems to be falling around your ears.
Pick up the pieces quickly and things won’t fall apart. If you have them they will help you make the right siblings, trust them with a decision, one.
Virgo (Aug 23-Sept 22) Face your family and tell them the truth.
It will ease your conscience. Help out more around the house and your parents will learn to
accept how much you have grown up.
Libra (Sept 23- Oct 23) Your freedom will start to choke you. Don’t worry because some
restraints will help you focus on what is really important. Pay attention to a friend’s advice; it will help you out in a pinch.
Scorpio (Oct 24- Nov 21) Your family members will allow you some privacy and it will get you to think. Get a guy or girl and wonderful things will happen. Help a friend and they will help you through a phase of transition.
October 1976
A Modest Proposal
By CHRIS PAYNE
In 1970, 9039 people were murdered in the United States. 66 percent of the victims were killed with guns. In 1974, the number went up to about 20,00 victims. 67 percent were committed with guns.
To purchase a gun today, a person must do the following: show his driver’s license, be at least 18 years of age, and fill out a questionnaire. The questionnaire is absolutely pointless. It contains questions such as, “Have you ever been arrested?” or “Have you ever smoked marijuana?” If a person answers ‘Yes’ to any of these questions, then he or she cannot buy the gun. Not only can the purchaser answer ‘No’ to all the questions (whether ‘No’ is the correct answer or not), but even a truthful answer can be misleading. No one can tell if a person wants to or can reform their life or not.
Several years ago in Maryland, a mother went into a department store and bought a gun.
She was in severe depression. The next morning, she killed her children with the gun, then turned it on herself. She left a suicide note explaining that the world was so bad, the best thing she could do for her children was kill them. Many people feel that if there was a waiting period of five days before a person could obtain a gun, tragedies like the one mentioned would be avoided.
People who have been arrested once on a felony should be able to buy a new gun. However, their gun should be licensed (it’s easier to trace if lost or stolen) and they should be watched very closely.
Many people who have been arrested once will reform their lives, but people who have been jailed twice or more on a felony shouldn’t be given another chance.
The guns which have come under the most fire are “Satur-day night specials.” They are cheap, poorly made, easy to conceal, and easier to obtain than other guns. In fact, President Ford has made these guns the target of his gun control drive.
Defending these guns is Merrill W. Wright, president of the National Rifle Association. He wrote an article in the September, 1975 edition of The American Rifleman entitled “The True
Saturday Night Special.”
In his article, Wright states that “To those whose livelihood is violent crime, higher gun prices will mean nothing more than an extra crime when they want the best gun on the market.” This argument isn’t difficult to debate, because common sense shows that the more inexpensive a gun is, the easier it is for a criminal to get one—and the more criminals who get them, the more murders and robberies.
Attacking the argument that the gun is poorly made, and therefore doubly dangerous,
Wright said, “Any steel salesman can tell you that by using about twenty-five cents worth of additional steel, a gun can be made stronger than the high priced ‘quality’ gun.
Though Wright may be correct, he failed to point out that without the twenty-five cents of additional steel, the “special” is a real danger.
Wright also claimed that the “Gun Control Act of 1968 at federal level supplemented by thousands of state and local regulations was designed to sharply reduce the ‘ready availability’ of all guns.” If this statement is true, then why is it that anyone can buy a gun by filling out a questionnaire, being at least eighteen, and showing his driver’s license?
I wholeheartedly agree with those who feel the “Saturday night special” should be eliminated.
I must add that people should be fingerprinted and checked before buying a gun. There should be a waiting period of a few days, as I said before, before a person could actually get their gun.
Licenses would be required, finally, on all guns, and Saturday night specials should be made illegal altogether.
These restrictions would make guns safer for everyone.
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