There are a small handful of people at IHS who know about a very small, very pink room at the very end of the E-wing. Although small and unassuming, this room is the deepest one can go into the chronicles of IHS. In that room, there are four average-looking filing cabinets that contain annals of IHS Tattler history, dating back 125 years. Here follows a selection.
Read more online at https://tattlerarchive.wordpress.com/
Note: The current Tattler does not necessarily endorse the opinions published in historical Tattlers.
February, 1929
A Friend
By: Eloise Corgel
I could sail the waters of all this world,
Bitter and mild and blue;
And never I’d find a friend to love
As the friend I’ve found in you.
I could walk down all the roads in this world,
And knock on doors forever;
But never I’d find a friend like you
Never, never, never
A Thought
By: Esther Howley
When happiness bestirs the air,
And flowers blossom everywhere,
Then is the time that you shall see,
What the world was meant to be.
When birds return with their joyous cry,
And lakes and streams and brooks are high,
The world forgets the winter past,
In the joy that spring has come at last.
Here peace and happiness should reign supreme
And everything should sunshine beam,
Then the world would wake and see
What the world was meant to be.
February 20, 1936
Dogs in School
By: J.T.
This title may sound incongruous, but there is truth in it. Every few days some wandering canine seeks the joy and variety of a scholarly companionship.
The extent of the dogs’ visitation depends entirely upon the room first entered. Although some of the teachers approve of “Fido” and encourage the elongation of his stay, others are not so hospitably inclined. These insist upon his being led out into the cold world immediately. There seems to be a strange temptation to the male residents of our institution to attract the hounds attention by whistling and other means. The teacher resents this, rather than the outsiders mere presence.
Some of the varied expressions with which the innocent cur is created are: “Voici de chien!” “Sehen Sie den Hund!” and “Videte Canein.”
Inasmuch as not all of the instructors approve of this visitor, some way must be found to accommodate him. Possibly we could set aside one room in which all the “Fidos” and “Rovers” could congregate. The new museum might be the answer.
February 12, 1999
Valentine’s Day Resolutions
By: Jimmy Moody ‘00
It’s that time of year again, time for the yearly outpouring of love and romance. It’s almost Valentine’s Day. Being only a month and a half away from New Years. I was thinking we might combine the tradition of the New Year’s Resolution, and the spirit of Valentine’s Day into a new holiday. It could be called “Romance Resolution Day,” where you make a resolution to help your love life, or those inadvertently involved in your love life. If your relationship isn’t running smoothly, and you’re not sure why, here are some sample resolutions for you to try:
-I will expand my list of endearments (read: pronouns) past “honey”. This will not only help my sweetie, who is now confusing himself with an insect waste product, but it will save the ears of all who have to spend time with me.
–I will limit the number of girlfriends I have at any specific time to one. This will make dating logistics much easier, because one is less than two. Indirectly this will help my blood pressure, stress level, and the hole I’ve been digging in the carpet.
–I will admit that the baby is mine.This will not only get the police off my case, but it will end the angry messages my ex leaves on my machine at three in the morning.
–I will get a prescription for Viagra.
-I will talk to my boyfriend about having a kid, instead of replacing my birth control pills with Prozac.
-I will stop referring to my girlfriend as “ho”, “bitch”, or “woman.”
-I will stop referring to my boyfriend as my fiance.
-I will stop asking for a menage a trois with my current love and my ex.
February 3, 1961
The following is a promotion of a debate between two former IHS clubs—the Congress club, and the Legislative club. In this promotion, the leader of each club wrote a brief, humorous biography of the other. Paul Wolfowitz ‘61 headed the Congress club. (See the “Vice” review on page 18)
By: Paul Wolfowitz
“What do you mean, do I have dishpan hands?” shouted an enraged Sue Parsons as she flung a spoonful of spaghetti at the Tattler reporter who was attempting to get some earthy facts for a Who’s Who. This beguiling damsel, whose name inspires loathing and contempt in the heart of every Congressman but one, was cleaning up after the first Legislative success of the year.
Sue has had a lifelong interest in Legislative. Ever since childhood, she has been picking on her brother, who is too nice to fight back. Like the other members of her infamous club, she thinks Legislative will win the debate again this year.
Sue’s other interests include the National Honors Society and the swimming team. She is also a student-guide and a board member of Clubs Council. During the summer Sue spends much of her time in Cayuga Lake sailing.
Sue likes the Congressional Record and men who smoke pipes. Her first love, however, is federal lunch, “especially that deevine corned beef hash.” Naturally, she dislikes everything connected with Congress, except its members.
She would like to attend college. Her main choices are Mount Holyoke, Cornell, Smith, Sarah Lawrence, Caltech, and Colorado School of Mines. Her major will be psychology!
By: Susan Parsons
“Who let the dog in?” asked Paul, looking up from the funny papers in which he was engrossed. He was busy planning the agenda for an upcoming Congress meeting, and had several comments to make about the organization which, unfortunately rests upon his tired shoulders. “Why,” he moaned, “does Legislative meet on our meeting day? Our attendance is shattered by this coincidence.” He consulted the scrawled agenda, and remarked that the first order of business would be the expulsion of Terry Boyle and Tom Rawsky for fraternizing with the enemy.
In addition to Congress, Paul’s distorted interests include Accelerated American History and National Honor Society. He is fond of both extensions and functioning committee co-chairman. Paul plays clarinet in the band, and is on the swimming team. In addition, he is a board member of Clubs Council. Paul serves as editorial assistant for the Tattler, and takes pride in harassing the entire staff to get assignments completed promptly.
About future plans, Paul commented: “I will attend college either at Cornell, Harvard, or McNeese (LA) State Teachers College.