It’s come to that time of the school year that everyone in the graduating class both prays for and dreads. Next year, we seniors will be going on to the “new and exciting things” that we have planned for ourselves; however, we will also face the stress of having to leave behind those who we’ve grown to love and care for over the last four years, only hoping that we can revert back to our natural state come next summer. It’s unlikely that friends who aren’t very close will stay in touch. While I have every intention to maintain certain relationships, it’s possible that even one’s closest friends will not be so in a year’s time. There will be conflicts, and plans to meet for coffee may fall through. We all have to accept this. Friends and their relationships may change over time. That is not the note I wish to end the year on, though. There is no telling what the future holds for any of us, and even if friends do lose touch for a bit, what is important is holding onto the memories you have with them and appreciating what great people they really are.
Nobody’s perfect, and as I pointed out in the article I wrote last month, “Judgment (Every) Day,” people’s flaws are usually the first things we notice about them. Isn’t it interesting that those with the qualities that most offend us are often the ones we’re closest to? Maybe it’s just my judgmental mindset that causes me to notice and analyze what I find to be the most annoying aspects of people in the first place. It’s different with people we don’t know well because we see them as one-dimensional: no depth. Strangers are liked, disliked, or ignored based on little or no criteria. On the senior trip a few weeks ago, if it had just been me and people I don’t know well, sleeping on the bus would have seemed like a better alternative than getting involved. Friends make bad situations bearable. They are individuals: unique, frustrating, but ultimately retaining their status as friends because of the things we do like about them and the things they like about us.
We all have friends who make us mad; that’s not news. How could they be our friends if they didn’t aggravate us, though? We need people whom we can be honest with, and no one can be completely honest without starting a few fights. Maybe a friend puts you down sometimes and compares themself to you to make themself feel better, or shares facts that may be common knowledge because they want people to consider them smart. Maybe they make you feel like they have such a better understanding of life than you, or that they’re smarter than you because they claim to know something in retrospect after having asked the question. You’ve put in time with them because, despite the character traits you like least about them, they’re pretty amazing. They’ve stuck by you and you by them.
Let’s be honest—sometimes you compare yourself to them as well, and you share ideas out of books you’ve read because maybe you want people to know you’ve read them, and you might feel like you’ve got a better grasp on life than others because your dad walked out, and you’d like to think that you’re smarter than you actually are sometimes. They’ve probably noticed the same things about you, but whom else would you otherwise associate with? Would the squad share your occasionally mindless humor or your interest in fashion? Could you have walked to Wegmans at two in the morning in ninth grade and talked about the same things with anyone else? Who would buy you the GQ with Kanye and Kim on the cover when you were mad for a reason that seems trivial now? Can anyone else can make you laugh using only a Facebook sticker, because you know exactly what they meant by it? It’s hard to imagine a world without good friends, their flaws and all; I’d like to think they’re an important part of life.
Every relationship or friendship is a trade-off, in which you must take a person’s bad to get to their good. It doesn’t matter if they don’t always follow the same train of thought as you, because if they’re a person with whom you can lay on a hammock, in utter silence and with a fluttering heart, and just watch the trees rustle gently above you, your differences don’t matter. So, sure, you can be pissed off with people all you want, but if you define a person by their faults, you’ll never get to know anyone. And honestly, a world experienced alone isn’t worth experiencing.