When most people hear the word “Cotillion” or the phrase “Debutante Charity Ball,” they think of Gossip Girl or Gilmore Girls, which are TV shows about upper-class snobs who unveil their daughters as true ladies who are eligible for marriage.
Historically, this is the correct description of Debutante Balls, but the modern version is more philanthropic. The 2015 Charity Ball and Presentation of the Debutantes that I attended with my family is a charitable event hosted by the Women’s Board of Akron’s Children’s Hospital.
The debutantes—the daughters of those who donated time and money to the hospital—spend months preparing for the Ball, learning how to properly curtsy, practicing their waltz, and finding the perfect dress before being presented to fellow wealthy philanthropic families by their fathers. The debutantes walk onto stage, get escorted to the front by their dads, curtsy, hug their dads, and get escorted off. Seeing how proud the fathers are and how much they love and support their daughters is heartwarming and really the highlight of the event. The rest of the time, the girls are honored for their beauty and ladylike curtsy.
I walked out of the auditorium after my cousin and all the other debs were presented and I was surrounded by people congratulating them. For what? Their great leg muscles that gave them the ability to hold a curtsy for three seconds, their perfect hair, their $400 dresses, their nice complexion and smile? Their actual accomplishments were never mentioned, nor did that cross people’s minds. They were portrayed as objects of beauty, not as well-rounded human beings.
The Chair of the Board said that the girls were being introduced as women who are going to make a difference in the world, but if their external beauty was the only thing being presented, how is it showing that goal? My cousin told me that they could only wear pearls and closed-toe shoes, and they had to attend waltz rehearsal as well as short etiquette lessons. She explained to me that it was an event that carried on tradition, and all these restrictions were put in place to do so. But if the tradition is to showcase them as nothing more than potential wives who look good in white, have good manners, and come from a good family, then why is it being continued?
Furthermore, this event raises money for the Children’s Hospital, but more money would be raised if participating families spent less on their daughters’ appearances. Yes, the tickets are expensive and raise significant funds, but the six-course meal, tuxedos, ball gowns, and live band subtract a large sum from it. The Debutante Charity Ball was a nice event that raised money for a good organization, but it also presented women with a shallow and artificial image. Wouldn’t it be great if women were shown off for who they are, not what they look like, and thousands of dollars were donated to a charity instead of salon bills, gowns, tuxedos, and six-course meals?