She sat staring at herself in the mirror. Existential crisis? “Am I allowed to self diagnose?” Yes, existential crisis. Acute. SOS. “You will not sit here and feel sorry for yourself. Reinvent. Remember, in a world of 7 billion people you are ‘unique.’ At least that’s what they say. What does unique even mean? Is there a cutoff? Oh my god, stop.”
As she entered the shop she was subdued and calmed by the pastel lavender, white trim, subtle wafts of lemongrass. Powders and perfumes. Body oils and rose petals. Soap. Piles of soap in the most brilliant little alcove, like a child peeking behind a door frame. Pink floral wrapping, thick cream-colored paper, dainty yellow flowers, blue rococo swirls, ribbons and no ribbons. She was surrounded by so many different scents. Pungent, weak, old-fashioned, and vanilla, too much vanilla, vanilla is so unassuming, why do people like vanilla? However, in rocks you find gems. The ideal scent is that which is tranquil, but strong. The kind of scent that you don’t even smell at first but slowly… a blooming flower, addictive.
Years ago her great-aunt had sat her down and decided that in her old age she should spill her secrets quickly before people started mistaking honesty for senility and feeling bad for her. “Did you know that for every boy I went out with I had a different bar of soap?” She sat, puzzled, waiting for the logic. “You see, it didn’t matter if anyone liked it or not. I needed to be distinct, memorable. I wanted that boy to walk through rose bushes and think, Her. I wanted another one to walk past a coffee shop and grasp at the air as if trying to materialize something, me. If they were angry at me, the smell would tantalize them. It could be pungent or weak, complicated or simple. Except vanilla, so unassuming. I needed to be memorable, distinct, never unassuming.”
For some reason she could never get her great-aunt’s confession off her mind. “No one will be remembered forever, so what’s the point? Or perhaps memorable meant character, personality. Yes, I think that is what it meant.” Character, distinct character. Coffee and cardamom. Rose and cream. Simple lavender. Mint and lemongrass. Soap.