Q: Hi Abby. I’m in 10th grade, and I’m worried that I’m getting off on the wrong foot with my English teacher this year. I’ve been busy with sports so I’ve turned in a lot of assignments late, and haven’t been able to keep up with the reading too well. I know I should have taken more initiative before now, but is there any way I can still turn this around?
Signed, Slacking off on Shakespeare
A: Thanks for your question, Slacking! Believe it or not, it sounds like you’re already doing everything that you need to do in order to succeed in English this year. Yes, you’ve gotten off to a bit of a rocky start and your first-quarter grades are probably going to suffer because of that, but once we’ve gotten these first 10 weeks out of the way, you’ve got a blank slate to work with and nothing but room for improvement.
One of the most fatal mistakes that students make in the beginning of a new school year is setting the bar too high for themselves. In order to get on their teacher’s’ good side right away, many students misguidedly put a lot of effort into making a good impression early on. This can benefit you for a week or two, but before too long you’ll inevitably start to slip back into your usual habits, saving your homework for the period before it’s due and demonstrating a subpar-at-best understanding of the assigned material.
With this in mind, the best thing you can do to set yourself up for success in any class is to establish yourself as a lazy, scatterbrained, and unmotivated student as quickly as possible. This will result in your teachers expecting virtually nothing from you, meaning that once you start putting even the smallest amount of effort into your work, they’ll be incredibly impressed by your newfound ambition and capacity for growth. You don’t want to go from zero to 100 too quickly, however; slow and steady is key here.
From what you’ve told me, it seems like you’ve got phase one of this approach almost completely down. The only thing I’d recommend adding to your routine—if you aren’t already doing this—is a daily power nap in your English class. If your teacher isn’t aware just how low on your list of priorities their class is, doing this will definitely get the message across, loud and clear.
Once this routine has been clearly established, it’s time to start altering it. Gradually starting paying more and more attention in class, and maybe make a half-hearted attempt at taking notes during lectures a couple of times a week. Make more of a concerted effort to turn in your homework on time from now on, but only do this every other time work is assigned. Keep this semi-destructive pattern of behavior going for about a month or so, and from there start gradually putting in more and more effort until, sometime around the middle of quarter three, you’re operating at what’s close to your full potential. Using this trajectory, you should be able to constantly “exceed expectations” throughout the year while exerting as little effort as possible.
Although my years of experience and utter lack of bias concerning this issue lead me to believe that this plan is virtually foolproof, I suppose it wouldn’t hurt to have a backup plan, just in case. If your teacher catches wind of these subtle tactics, just drop the subtlety! Straight up bribe your teachers; it’s a win-win for everybody and I guarantee nothing about it could go badly. I supposed you could always start with this approach if you’re the no-nonsense, straightforward type, but I do find that it’s best to try to preserve a shred of dignity when approaching problems like these. But hey, maybe that’s just me.
Congratulations on your (probably) passing grades!
You’re welcome.
—Abby