Aries (Mar. 21–Apr. 19): I’ve been striking out all night but I think I’m about to make some solid connection with you; hey the name’s Mike.
Taurus (Apr. 20–May 20): Maybe I’m just swinging for the fences because you’re so far out of my league, but I figured I’d step up to bat anyway; hey the name’s Lombard.
Gemini (May 21–June 20): I like older women, they’re a whole different ball game if ya know what I’m saying; hey the name’s Keaton.
Cancer (June 21–July 22): Ya know right off the bat I could tell you were a 7, but that’s just a ballpark figure; hey the name’s Colin.
Leo (July 23–Aug. 22): Whoa whoa whoa, looks like I’ve been thrown a real curveball, ha ha wanna come home with me? Hey the name’s Roger.
Virgo (Aug. 23–Sept. 22): Ya know I don’t always wind up in a pickle, but when I do I always end up stealing first base; hey the name’s Steve.
Libra (Sept. 23–Oct. 22): Now I don’t normally experiment with men, but I’d be willing to switch hit for you tonight; hey the name’s Rodney.
Scorpio (Oct. 23–Nov. 21): They say baseball is a game of inches, I’d say that is true for a lot of things; hey the name’s Kelly.
Sagittarius (Nov. 22–Dec. 21): I’m gonna be honest, I’m looking to go all the way around the bases with someone tonight; hey the name’s Larry.
Capricorn (Dec. 22–Jan. 19): Baseball is America’s favorite pastime, but I’d say it’s far past time we got to touch base with each other; hey the name’s Osman.
Aquarius (Jan. 20–Feb. 18): Excuse me if I sound like I’m a little out in left field, but I’ve had my eye on the ball all night; hey the name’s Jeremy.
Pisces (Feb. 19–Mar. 20): I just turned 14 so I understand these are the big leagues now; hey the name’s Sam.