Horoscopes as most annoying cliches
Aries (Mar. 21 – Apr. 19): Yeah, I guess this film is okay. The books were way better than the movies, though.
Taurus (Apr. 20 – May 20): *sees person get lightly hit by object* That’ll hurt in the mornin’!
Gemini (May 21 – June 21):
A: *tells secret to someone* But pretend you don’t know!
B: Know what?! 😉
Cancer (June 22 – July 22): Sheesh, the rain is really coming down. The plants are gonna love this!
Leo (July 23 – Aug. 22): Oh, brother, another Monday. . . . Don’t talk to me until I’ve had my coffee!
Virgo (Aug. 23 – Sept. 22): The Grand Canyon is beautiful, but let me tell you, these pictures do not do it justice!
Libra (Sept. 23 – Oct. 22): *yawns extra loudly to let everyone know they are uninterested and not having fun*
Scorpio (Oct. 23 – Nov. 21): *meets new person who has a long record* “Nice to meet you ______, I’ve done my homework on you. . . .”
Sagittarius (Nov. 22 – Dec. 21): “Yeah, I’m not too good at the Rubik’s Cube. I can usually get one side but after that I get stuck.” *waits for conversational partner to act impressed*
Capricorn (Dec. 22 – Jan. 19): Are you thinkin’ what I’m thinkin’? . . . (see below)
Aquarius (Jan. 20 – Feb. 18): I don’t know what you’re thinkin’ . . . but I’m DEFINITELY not thinking that! (see above)
Pisces (Feb. 19 – Mar. 20):
A: ______, you’re a genius!
B: I am? . . . I am!