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Horoscopes: The Signs as Different Ways to Cook a Potato

Aries (Mar 21 – Apr 19):

Mash it up, baby. Throw some butter in there! Some salt! Some pepper too, why not!

Taurus (Apr 20 – May 20):

Cheesy potatoes! Sliced/scalloped, arranged in a nice little pan, topped with cheese and baked till they’re nice and crispy!

Gemini (May 21 – June 20):

If you want to get crazy, make potato chips.

Cancer (June 21 – Jul 22):

Get in touch with your French culinary side and make some fries.

Leo (Jul 23 – Aug 22):

Tater tots.

Virgo (Aug 23 – Sep 22):

Get those little ones, the cute little round ones. Boil them. Then butter them up. Little bites of buttery carbs, oh yum.

Libra (Sep 23 – Oct 22):

Hash browns! Shred the potato up to bits and fry ‘em in a big old cast iron.

Scorpio (Oct 23 – Nov 21):

Potato skins. You gotta make use of every lil’ bit of that spud.

Sagittarius (Nov 22 – Dec 21):

Gnocchi! Imagine you are in Italy, with a breeze on your face, as you sit on a balcony eating these delicious potato-y pasta-y little nubs of goodness.

Capricorn (Dec 22 – Jan 19):

Baked potatoes, and you could go wild, maybe throw on some sour cream, even bacon? Chives too.

Aquarius (Jan 20 – Feb 18):

Potato wedges! Very versatile. You can use any kind of spud you’d like. Purple, Yukon, Russet. Wedge ‘em all.

Pisces (Feb 19 – Mar 20):

Potato soup! Potato leek soup? Sweet potato soup. All the potato soups