The following poems are a selection from the Active Minds Poetry Reading
in May. Active Minds is an IHS club that promotes mental health awareness.
Untitled
By ZOE GRAS
The shadows creep along my eyes and I see you standing there.
Whispers cry and hurt my ears but you are still standing there
Standing there and I listen to the fears of my heart but they don’t know where to start
so I stand here seeing you.
Seeing memories whip inside my head and leave my heart feeling dread
and I would give anything to be yours.
But you forced me to exist for you and you only.
You held my heart in your hands until it burnt from your touch
You said you loved me and I believed you, and I still believe you.
But I also believe love to you is forcing someone to be what you want them to be,
and I want to be myself.
And I see you standing there and laughing.
And a knife is in my chest.
For I am still here hurting from what you did to me,
and you think it was my fault?
It was my fault that you pushed me up against the wall day after day?
It was my fault that you pressured me for months on end?
It was my fault that my boobs are too small and I dress the way I want and I did everything you asked and you controlled me and embarrassed me and terrorize me to this day?
It is not my fault, it was never my fault.
I will not force myself to hurt anymore,
I will not punish myself over and over again for something I did not do,
but what was done to me.
And when that voice comes into my head
And tells me I deserve to die
It quotes you.
It tells me I shouldn’t let external factors control my mental health.
It tells me there is a difference between being confident and being cocky.
And there is a difference between being confident and being cocky.
But I am confident.
I will not tell myself I do not deserve to live anymore because I do.
I do.
So I will stand here and not be invisible when you look right through me.
Because I am here and I deserve to be heard, I deserve to be happy.
I may have lost you and everyone else trying to be myself,
but I can still be happy.
Untitled
By ZOE GRAS
Yesterday I brought the blade to my skin and felt the coldness melt into my soul
Yesterday I brought the razor to my thigh and split the emotions in half letting them flood out Yesterday I sliced open my skin to let the ghosts escape my head and the butterflies fly out of my stomach
But I still feel their memory
Yesterday I tried to let my demons escape because even they shouldn’t have to feel what I feel Yesterday for a second I remembered what it was like to be in control
Yesterday I remembered what it was like to live
Yesterday I asked my body to forgive me
Yesterday I asked my mind to stop fighting the inevitable
Yesterday I wrote a note telling my family to climb all the mountains I couldn’t
Yesterday I told everyone I loved them
Yesterday I climbed a tower because my mind told me heaven was at the top of it
Yesterday I wanted to see the beauty of the world from above it
Yesterday I felt like climbing the rickety ladder in a graffiti covered brick tower was my only
chance at happiness.
Today I took my suicide note and buried it in the ground
Today I planted a flower on top of the paper that told my parents not to grieve
Today I allowed tears to flow down my face instead of blood down my thighs
Today I decided to fight back
Today I decided I was strong
Today I decided to take it one step at a time
Today I decided to make a difference
Today I made sure to smile at everyone because you never know who is needing it
Today I watched a pebble drop in the water
Today I watched the butterflies fly
Today I decided to live.
A Human BEING
By WREN KINGSLEY
When I look in a mirror
all my thoughts
tell me:
my hair is too frizzy,
my skin is too red,
my smile is crooked,
my arms are too fat,
my nose is too big.
But why should that matter?
They are just my thoughts,
words that float through nothingness
and mean nothing.
They exist to no one
but myself.
What if instead of relating to the
reflection in the mirror as me
I choose to create myself.
The loving smile of my mother
Is me.
The warm hug from my friend
Is me.
My ability to do the things I love
Is me.
My curiosity and excitement to learn
Is me.
The smile of the stranger I hold the door for
Is me.
The gratitude I receive and give to others
Is me
In these moments,
I am living.
That girl in the mirror,
means nothing.
Because
I am
a sea of love and talent,
I am
an ocean of possibility and strength.
I am beautiful for my impact on others
I am beautiful for what I am capable of creating.
That is what really matters.
So next time
that girl in the mirror
tries to put me down,
I will choose to create myself
as a human BEING.
Being generous.
Being strong.
Being encouraging.
Being joy.
Being fun.
Being adventurous.
Anything is possible,
all I have to do
is choose.
I Am
By AIRAKAH CLANTON
I am stubborn and realistic
I wonder about death and the after-life
I hear the Devil’s laughter
I see Hell’s gates
I want to understand everything
I am stubborn and realistic
I pretend to be okay
I feel Hellfire
I touch Heaven’s clouds
I worry for the future
I cry for the past
I am stubborn and realistic
I understand I had to write this poem
I say everybody dies but not everybody lives
I dream about death
I try to be a normal being
I hope to be okay one day
I am stubborn and realistic