There are a small handful of people at IHS who know about a very small, very pink room at the very end of the E-wing. Although small and unassuming, this room is the deepest one can go into the chronicles of IHS. In that room, there are four average-looking filing cabinets that contain annals of IHS Tattler history, dating back 125 years. Here follows a selection.
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Note: The current Tattler does not necessarily endorse the opinions published in historical Tattlers.
Note: The original spelling and grammar in historical Tattlers are being used in this current issue of the Tattler.
October, 1919
Ginger Jar
Medium- “The spirit of your wife is here now; do you wish to speak to her through me?’
Widower- “Ask her where the dickens she put my winter underwear!”
Soph- “Where are you from?”
Frosh- “Providence.”
Soph- “Oh, are you?”
Frosh- “No, R.I.”
Mr. L. (in Physics)- “In how many states does matter exist?”
1920- “In all, forty eight.”
TOO TRUE
She- When you married me, you didn’t marry a cook, I want you to understand.
HEARD IN LATIN CLASS
Miss A.- “Mr. Cook, give the dative for donum.”
Louie- “Dunno.”
Miss A.- “Correct.”
October, 1916
Worries of the Frosh
Little drops of ink,
Thumbprints now and then,
Makes the stupid little Frosh
Wish that such he’d never been.
A little word like “Basket.”
When he’s dull and glum,
Makes him wish he’d left to home
That little quid of gum.
Tiny little pointers,
Alas! He has no ears;
And then betimes on month’s reports
A bigger one appears.
Fondly doth he slumber,
Saintly is his smile.
“I don’t know,” he answers,
Then again he dreams awhile.
His pile of books grows bigger,
He surely ought to know,
That just pretense of study
Makes zeroes rounder grow.
“It’s just one careless round of grind,
I always toil in vein.
When will I come upon the end.
Is no-one here humane?”
Take my advice, “Keep toiling on,”
And as you toil I’ll say,
“It won’t be here in your Freshman year.
But there’ll be a reward some day.”
October, 1934
More For Your Money
“Ticket to the game” carols a ticket-to-the-game-seller.
“Tattler subscription” comes from another nearby person.
“Text book card, locker fee, and so on, ad infinitum.”
No wonder the student body is unable to support any of the organizations properly when he has to pay $4.50 for just four activities. And who has $4.50 to spend? Might we not have a school membership card costing only $4.00 a year, allowing for one year’s Tattler subscription, football tickets for the season, one year’s locker fee, and one textbook card. The activities would have more support and the students would get more for their money than they now do.
October, 1936
FADS AND FASHIONS
Now that autumn is here the new fall styles are beginning to appear. For early fall informal wear, the men find the grey flannels and tweed jackets are popular. For outing a smart sweater coat is the thing, with solid color sleeves of knit while the front is of check or plaid.
This fall the man has taken to fads especially in watch charms and tobacco pouches.
Collars to suit the features of a person are the style. Fellows with the round face and short neck will find the colors with points set well together will do him the most justice.
The boy with a long face and neck will find he needs the type of collar that is high at the back with the points fairly long and spread apart.
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The coat that is taking everyone’s eye at the beginning of this fall season, is the princess reefer. The top is fitted while the bottom is flared, making the middle look small enough to be encircled with your two hands. This winter, we are reverting back to grandma’s days to use the hour-glass silhouette again.
The smartest thing you can wear for school is wool! Wool! Wool in dark green, wine, navy, rust, brown, and egg-plant; beige and black, too, make a stunning combination. Sweaters should be bright and furry with soft martin or muskrat hairs scattered all over them.
October, 1973
Tattler After Hours
Reclining in our comfortable-but-chic easy chair, wearing our blue velvet smoking jacket with silver watch fob, tailored to show precisely one half-inch of impeccable shirt cuff punctuated by finely crafted silver cufflinks, we pondered the question of what to write for the Tattler.
The decision was a weighty one, even for an urbane, upbeat chap like us, so we poured ourself a few golden drops of Marquis de Caussade V.S.O.P. before continuing.
Settled in our recliner again, we began to muse. What sort of a man reads the Tattler, we wondered? A man unafraid to try the untested, to explore the as-yet unknown. A bold man, in short, innovative and inventive.
Adjusting our Indian madras four-in-hand, we paused to consider the problem: what to write for such a man? Surely, many interests must color his sophisticated, free-swinging life style, but which ones? We must confess, we were at a loss until we paused again to sample the ambrosiac fumes of a very superior Old Pale. We started in delight: the seeds of inspiration had germinated in our all-to-fertile mind. We had hit upon the one subject which every man is, shall we say, intimately concerned?
This theme, we modestly decided, was nothing less than perfect: not only would it appeal to our masculine readers, but it would also have an element of interest for our fairer follower.
This column, then, we concluded, would here-after be devoted to that fascinating subject with which much of our readership is becoming agreeably acquainted.
Having come to a decision, we breathed a sigh of relief. Downing the last of the Armagnac, we headed for a shave and a brush-up before our date with the Most-Photogenic-Girl-of-the-month. We were glad we had a ready topic of conversation.