Walking into theatre seven of our local Regal Cinemas, I was not expecting to see a good movie. Instead, I hoped to momentarily forget the boredom of holiday break and perhaps laugh a little. If nothing else, I can say that Cats (2019) succeeded in this. There were six people in the theatre: my two friends, me, and three people in the row in front of us. By the time the movie was halfway over, we were the only ones still there. This, combined with the fact that Universal Pictures lost at least seventy million dollars from Cats, tells you all you need to know about the film.
The first few moments of the movie got me so disoriented that I momentarily forgot what I was watching. Once I gained awareness, I laughed aloud and didn’t stop. The appearance of the characters was surreal and bizarre in the most hilarious way. The Jellicle cats had small, furry bodies and human lips, eyebrows, eyes, noses, feet, and hands. Their bodily movements were disturbingly erotic, and what was even more disturbing was their proportions. They were small—perhaps the height of real cats?—but shaped essentially like humans. Needless to say, I did not enjoy the animation.
The plot, too, was lacking. As someone who had not looked into the story before watching the film, I had trouble not so much with deciphering the plot as with wrapping my head around the fact that there really was not a plot. It can be summarized in two sentences: a new cat joins the Jellicle cats, who all introduce themselves throughout the movie and compete for a chance to ascend into the sky and be reborn. They encounter conflict with the nefarious Macavity, a strikingly naked villain cat with the unexplained ability to teleport. Much of the movie was spent meeting new characters and watching each of them flirt with the main character. The plot was unsatisfying and strange, leaving the audience to wonder why in the world any feral cat would care enough to viciously vie for victory at a reincarnation ceremony.
As someone who is not very familiar with Cats (the musical), I am not nearly qualified to analyze the character development as it compares to the original musical. Still, the characterization was bizarre. The only two characteristics of the protagonist, Victoria, were her curiosity and ability to flirt with literally anyone else in the movie. She extended a seductive foot toward the Rum Tum Tugger’s face, nuzzled up to Mister Mistoffelees, and exchanged flirtatious glances with Munkustrap, all the while creepily moving her white tail and widening her eyes. Macavity had no depth—his development was limited to the removal of his trenchcoat and hat to reveal silky fur the color of Idris Elba’s skin, making him appear remarkably nude.
Conversely, the music was easy to listen to, catchy, and well-performed. Odd things certainly happened and were done by various characters during the songs, but the songs were good nonetheless. Performances by Taylor Swift, Jennifer Hudson, and Robert Fairchild were especially fun. The movie featured impressive choreography as well. The music and dancing were probably the most, and only, impressive aspect of Cats. Of course, this does nothing to diminish the atrocity of the animation, plot, and character design.
Considering that I did not have high expectations for Cats, I think the movie succeeded for my purposes. The ridiculousness of the storyline and animation brought me to laughter, and reading other reviews was hilarious as well. Cats is harmless as long as you don’t take it seriously or expect to be entertained by high-quality cinema, which I can’t imagine anyone would after watching the trailer.
Allow me to summarize by quoting a friend after I told her that I had seen Cats: “Poor T.S. Eliot.”