I’ll be the first person to tell you I’ve made horrible decisions.
If I made a list of all the terrible things I’ve done throughout my life,
it’d seemingly never end. I would read it and feel as if I’d
failed at being a good friend, son, or even human. I think that if
you’re old enough to read a page of a book or do basic addition,
you’ve probably experienced the wonderful torture of wishing you
could undo something you said or how you treated someone, and
all you can do now is mope and cower to the circumstances you’ve
now created.
Some of us handle it better than others, but I’d be the first to
admit I could use some help when it comes to overcoming feelings
of regret.
I can almost guarantee that every single person who will read
this article will at some point feel what I just described. I also think
it’s crucial that people learn to handle these feelings early, when
they have time to learn, rather than handling them once they reach
adulthood and the stresses of responsibility prevent growth. And as
someone who has first-hand experience making bad decisions, I
feel as if I might as well lend as much as I know to the subject.
This is what’s helped me the most.
First off, if there’s anything you can do to make the situation
better, do it. Think carefully and delicately, but don’t be afraid to
apologize when you’re wrong, or to talk to the person you’ve
wronged, about how you feel and what you think you did poorly.
People can be more forgiving than you think.
Secondly, if you can’t do anything to make the situation better,
then the saying, “it is what it is” might be the best piece of advice
for you. If you can’t change your circumstances, you have to let
yourself move on. That takes time, energy, and a grueling few
months or even years. There’s nothing you can do about that.
Feeling the emotions you are feeling is unavoidable, but you
have to force yourself not to dwell on it for too long. That doesn’t
mean you can’t feel regret, but sometimes you just have to tell
yourself, “it is what it is” and try to think about something else.
Thirdly, you have to have patience. Sometimes I wish I could
just forget what happened and move on. Sadly, life doesn’t work
that way. You need to tell yourself that it might suck for a while,
maybe even a long time, but eventually things will get better. You
just have to “wait” your feelings out. If you can be patient with
yourself, you may ultimately be rewarded.
The final thing I’ll say is that eventually, you will feel better. It
may seem like you’ll never get past your current emotions and
sometimes, you don’t even want to move on. That’s normal and
human. All I can really say is: everything’s gonna be ok. I promise.
I’m no expert on any of this stuff; I’m still just a kid trying to
navigate the ups and downs of life. These times are challenging for
all of us, myself included. I think sometimes in an effort to
improve, we forget that it’s ok to feel embarrassed, guilty, or
shameful, but we’re all human in the end.
If anyone found any part of this helpful, then I’m satisfied I sat
down to write this evening.
Learning to Cope With Regret: A Chance at a Better Life
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