Content Warning: Mentions of eating disorders and weight loss
I have personally always been a big fan of New Year’s resolutions.
Maybe it isn’t particularly rational to act like a switch from one
year to another is the only time you can
improve yourself, but it’s a comforting ritual nonetheless. You can
make resolutions at the change of the seasons, on the first of the
month, or at the start of a week. But for some reason, when the year
is finally over, it’s nice to think you can finally put aside all the
horrible things that happened the year before, and start all over.
You can be better, kinder, healthier, and happier. Through my
years of writing long lists of resolutions, these are the things I’ve
learned.
Contrary to what your P.E. teachers might tell you, I don’t think
resolutions should be SMART goals. It’s an insane amount of
pressure to put on yourself to define exactly how and when you’ll
achieve a certain goal. I hate concrete resolutions, like
“lose _ pounds.” If you’re anything like me, you’ll end the year having
actually gained that much weight and then you’ll just feel like crap.
A way to avoid this depression is to not get too specific with your
resolutions, so you can interpret every year as a success. Instead of saying,
“have _ friends,” say “expand my social circle and deepen
bonds with existing friends.” Most people don’t go through with their
resolutions, and end the year with even more disappointments. That’s why
I don’t think resolutions can or should be life-changing. It’s the little
things that actually work, like when I wrote last year that I would get my
driver’s license, go to bed earlier, and get better grades. I think I get
a little better at things every year, just like when I write “be more
confident about my body” every year. This is done through small
steps, broken down throughout many, many years. You have
(practically) an infinite amount of New Year’s ahead of you, so
why make the changes all at once? Take it a little bit at a time.
Don’t expect to go from zero to one hundred in 365 days.
I think it’s also healthy and fun to give each year a broader goal,
such as “healthier relationships”, “physical health”, “school”, etc,
and have your resolutions largely focus on that. Last year was my
year of relationships, both platonic and romantic. I spent the year
concentrating on forming connections with people and learning to
accept that some things (and people) aren’t meant to be with you
forever. The year before that, my goals were centered around selfconfidence. I began to experiment with different things like
clothes, hairstyles, and piercings, quit an extremely mentally
destructive sport (ballet), and I stopped keeping track of my weight
and pants size.
As tempting as it is to fill your New Year’s Resolutions list with
serious things, I recommend throwing in a few silly or
unimportant things as well. It can feel like a lot of pressure for all
your goals to be school, future, and health orientated. Having
things like “Try all the different drinks at CTB” or “Dye my hair at
least three different colors” can make the year ahead actually seem
fun and exciting. Changing yourself for the better will always be
stressful and difficult, but that shouldn’t be all you have to do that
year. Just like we need rest days, we also need rest resolutions—
resolutions that don’t feel overwhelming and can fill up space on
the page without being too difficult to accomplish.
It’s easy to write down resolutions and then forget about them
by the end of January. I personally can say I’m guilty of this. That’s
why I like to keep my list in an easily-accessible place, so I can
remind myself of what I’m hoping to achieve that year. Last year, I
taped the list right above my desk. On days when I was up till
midnight doing homework and feeling that life was horrible and
stupid, I would look up at the list and get myself back on track. It
sort of grounds you to have your goals near you all the time; you
remind yourself what you want to do and who you want to be that
year.
By the time this article comes out, it will already be February.
Maybe all the resolutions we planned out will have been
abandoned. You don’t have to necessarily wait till the next New
Year’s Eve to start all over again. Maybe, just wait for March 1 and
then give it another go. Or wait for spring, which officially starts
March 20. If you’re especially determined, start right in the middle
of the day on a random Wednesday. I admire people who can do
that; I, personally, need to wait for some sort of transitional period
to work on my goals. Whether you have one resolution or twenty,
I wish you all luck. And hey, there’s always 2024!