From the Archives: Excerpts from The Tattler Issues of Yesteryear

Though the four cabinets holding bundles of old Tattler issues (and other random objects) have never quite kept a distinct location, their history remains the same. Being the archivist of The Tattler allows me to explore the tales and stories that once lived in the halls of IHS. Whether you enjoy history a lot or not as much, I’m sure you’ll find something you’ll enjoy in this section. Without further ado, here’s just a handful of these pieces, dating all the way back to 1892!

June 1968

School Store Serves IHS

In K-building, there is a place that everyone takes for granted. In it the student can buy many different school supplies. It contains everything from pencils to popular paperback books.

The school store has been a going concern for quite awhile. Originally it was run by students who got paid a small amount of money for their labor. Back then it only sold school supplies. In the last few years, all of this has been changed and improved under the direction of Mr. Charles Sacton. The store is now run by the distributive education class. Under the direction of Mr. Sacton, the school store has become a laboratory where members of the distributive education class put into practice what they learned in the classroom. The students are required to work in the store one period a day for two weeks under the supervision of other classmates who act the parts of employer and business executive. All students are marked on their performance. The students order merchandise, take inventory, assemble displays, etc. The students get $1.60 an hour.

Another change in the past few years are two book racks stocked with paperbacks which everybody from “the hot-rod enthusiast to the intellectual” enjoys, as Mr. Sacton puts it. Along with this service, teachers may order paperbacks for their classes though the school store.

One of the accomplishments of the school store last year was a gross income of over $11,000. This past fall they sold as much as $600—$700 worth of merchandise a day. As one can see, the school store performs an immense service to the school.

The Pink Eye Report

By BRUCE UNSWORTH

We come to you this month full of ideas, resolutions and promises. Our gospel is that next years’s TATTLER will be ten times better—funnier, more serious, more sports but less emphasis on athletics, better planning but more off-the-cuff, less topical but more current, and so on. Promise you anything … Unfortunately for you, seniors, you’ll never know if we’re putting you on, nor will you underclassmen know if we can put our money where our mouth is unless you buy next year’s TATTLER. Start saving up …

You should see some of the things we’ve got in store for you … wow … confidential measurements of all Miss IHS contestants … Advance scouting of the intramural chess championships…Detailed accounts of the political infighting and smoke-filled room bargaining for the election of such student power strongholds as president of Math Club, secretary of Future Teachers and treasurer of Health Careers Club … Oh, it’s gonna be great.

***

Alan Heppel tells me that he feels the Student Council could raise a lot of bread by inviting a big-time group here for a concert, as Cornell does. Always a man of action, Alan has gone ahead and invited a famous group for an engagement next year … Tickets will soon be on sale for Flatt and Scruggs.

***

Eric Holmberg is suing the Annual for defamation of character—I mean disappearance of character. When asked why Eric was not in the yearbook, Annual staffers replied, “Eric who?”

***

The honors never seem to end for Bill Hill. Soon after winning the Pink-Eye award last month, he was elected president of IYCCA. Finally, he was selected as Teen of the Month by—guess who—the IYCCA. It makes one stop and think…

***

How To Ask For A Date

One hearing the frequent complaints voiced by friends (Paul Dickey) of mine over getting “shot down,” it struck me that these guys were undergoing a great deal of suffering because of my own selfishness—they were unable to get dates simply because I had never disclosed my own foolproof approaches to asking for a date. After all, I told myself, why should I have a monopoly on these tactics, even if I did develop them myself? To be sure, these strategies couldn’t work as well for any old guy as for a renowned lover like myself, but they’d be bound to improve anybody’s chances for success. Accordingly, I wrote down a few of the methods for getting a date that I have employed with much success. (I don’t claim to know all the answers, but I consulted Tom Hunt, a second-greatest lover at IHS, for any additional fine points he was acquainted with.)

THE PESSIMISTIC APPROACH

“I don’t suppose you’d be free this Saturday night?”

“Why, yes I am.”

“Oh, well, I don’t suppose you’d want to go out with me?”

“No, I don’t suppose I would.”

THE SADNESS (ROD TAYLOR) ROUTINE

“Luv, I’ve just had some bad news and I’m really shook up.

Couldn’t we make it a date? It would cheer me up so…”

“No, I think you’d better stay home with your mommy.”

THE DIRECT ATTACK

“Would you like to go to the game Friday night?”

“Oh, yes! I tend to. In fact, I’m going with Sam.”

THE CASUAL TACK

“Hey, are you doing anything this Saturday night?”

“No.”

“How ‘bout if we make it a date then?”

“No, I told you, I’m not doing anything Saturday night.”

THE EXCITEMENT GIG

“Hey, babe, what say we go out and paint the town? Are ya

ready for a little excitement?”

“I’m sorry, but I was planning to go skydiving with my Dad.”

The time of graduation draws near … as does the time of parting (sob) … It is a sobering thought […] Who can blame seniors for their feelings of sentiment as they leave? Think of all the things they will remember and miss: the comforting inaudible music in the morning … those ear splitting dance plugs over WIHS … the time when the jukebox came on during study hall … those great days in January when the temperature goes to 45°—inside … all those great senior study halls—even the water in the air conditioned … fantastic referendums … fantastic Deeb’s … fantastic deodorant fights in the locker room … Oh, it’ll be tough to forget.

June 1930

One Session School

One session school! I would like to see somebody put up an argument against it that would compare with a few of the points I wish to disclose. First, there are about twenty-five people out of the whole population of the school numbering nearly 1250, who oppose the plan. Second, innumerable times athletic teams representing the high school, have gone on out-of-town trips on week days, necessitating that the members of the squad miss some of their classes. And third, it would allow more time for athletic contests both Varsity and intramural, therefore encouraging more students

to take interest in the different sports.

A few years ago this plan was tried out in the Junior High School and was a success, so, if they put it over, why can’t we, who are supposed to be more intellectual, do the same?

—Y.O. Ming

June 2011

The Roswell UFO Incident

By KELSEY SHANG

For centuries people have pondered the existence of extraterrestrial creatures. Whether one believes in them or not, it is undeniable that the public image of aliens is everywhere. Besides being a popular theme within conspiracy theories, the fear of aliens is visible throughout any given time period and form of media. With the rapid development of space technology, more and more people may be accepting the possibility of intelligent life beyond our solar system. One of the most controversial and famous conspiracy theories is the Roswell UFO Incident. The massive impacts of this event still transcend into modern times and remains a heated topic.

In the summer of 1947, William Ware “Mack” Brazel encountered a strange pile of debris near Roswell, New Mexico. As Brazel’s publicity grew, “bright wreckage made up of rubber strips, tin foil, a rather tough paper and sticks’’ became secretive whispering of “flying discs possibly used by aliens.” The story was swept from the local newspaper, the Roswell Daily Record, to the Air force, and to the head of the FBI. Immediately after collecting the object from Brazel, the Air Force of Fort Worth released a statement deeming the “disc” to be a weather balloon, later identified to be from the secretive governmental project, Mogul, instead. Whether this press release was indeed true or a massive cover up by the government is still fervently debated. However, the major discrepancies within this event are responsible for the varying contradiction between each account.

Years later, many witnesses eagerly came forward to each recount their stories of alien or UFO encounters. While some accounts were objective, others were bold and colorful or even falsified. In 1978, Major Jesse Marcel, Intelligence Officer from the Roswell Army Air Field base, when asked about the debris, said, “There was all kinds of stuff—small beams about three eighths or a half inch square with some sort of hieroglyphics on them that …could not be broken, could not be burned. I even took my cigarette lighter and tried to burn the material … But something that is even more astonishing is that the pieces of metal that we brought back were so thin … the boys came to me and said: ‘… I tried to bend the stuff … I even tried it with a sledgehammer. You can’t make a dent on it.’”

Another account includes that of Gerald Anderson in 1990. He

to take interest in the different sports.

A few years ago this plan was tried out in the Junior High School and was a success, so, if they put it over, why can’t we, who are supposed to be more intellectual, do the same?

—Y.O. Ming

June 2011

The Roswell UFO Incident

By KELSEY SHANG

For centuries people have pondered the existence of extraterrestrial creatures. Whether one believes in them or not, it is undeniable that the public image of aliens is everywhere. Besides being a popular theme within conspiracy theories, the fear of aliens is visible throughout any given time period and form of media. With the rapid development of space technology, more and more people may be accepting the possibility of intelligent life beyond our solar system. One of the most controversial and famous conspiracy theories is the Roswell UFO Incident. The massive impacts of this event still transcend into modern times and remains a heated topic.

In the summer of 1947, William Ware “Mack” Brazel encountered a strange pile of debris near Roswell, New Mexico. As Brazel’s publicity grew, “bright wreckage made up of rubber strips, tin foil, a rather tough paper and sticks’’ became secretive whispering of “flying discs possibly used by aliens.” The story was swept from the local newspaper, the Roswell Daily Record, to the Air force, and to the head of the FBI. Immediately after collecting the object from Brazel, the Air Force of Fort Worth released a statement deeming the “disc” to be a weather balloon, later identified to be from the secretive governmental project, Mogul, instead. Whether this press release was indeed true or a massive cover up by the government is still fervently debated. However, the major discrepancies within this event are responsible for the varying contradiction between each account.

Years later, many witnesses eagerly came forward to each recount their stories of alien or UFO encounters. While some accounts were objective, others were bold and colorful or even falsified. In 1978, Major Jesse Marcel, Intelligence Officer from the Roswell Army Air Field base, when asked about the debris, said, “There was all kinds of stuff—small beams about three eighths or a half inch square with some sort of hieroglyphics on them that …could not be broken, could not be burned. I even took my cigarette lighter and tried to burn the material … But something that is even more astonishing is that the pieces of metal that we brought back were so thin … the boys came to me and said: ‘… I tried to bend the stuff … I even tried it with a sledgehammer. You can’t make a dent on it.’”

Another account includes that of Gerald Anderson in 1990. He

to take interest in the different sports.

A few years ago this plan was tried out in the Junior High School and was a success, so, if they put it over, why can’t we, who are supposed to be more intellectual, do the same?

—Y.O. Ming

June 2011

The Roswell UFO Incident

By KELSEY SHANG

For centuries people have pondered the existence of extraterrestrial creatures. Whether one believes in them or not, it is undeniable that the public image of aliens is everywhere. Besides being a popular theme within conspiracy theories, the fear of aliens is visible throughout any given time period and form of media. With the rapid development of space technology, more and more people may be accepting the possibility of intelligent life beyond our solar system. One of the most controversial and famous conspiracy theories is the Roswell UFO Incident. The massive impacts of this event still transcend into modern times and remains a heated topic.

In the summer of 1947, William Ware “Mack” Brazel encountered a strange pile of debris near Roswell, New Mexico. As Brazel’s publicity grew, “bright wreckage made up of rubber strips, tin foil, a rather tough paper and sticks’’ became secretive whispering of “flying discs possibly used by aliens.” The story was swept from the local newspaper, the Roswell Daily Record, to the Air force, and to the head of the FBI. Immediately after collecting the object from Brazel, the Air Force of Fort Worth released a statement deeming the “disc” to be a weather balloon, later identified to be from the secretive governmental project, Mogul, instead. Whether this press release was indeed true or a massive cover up by the government is still fervently debated. However, the major discrepancies within this event are responsible for the varying contradiction between each account.

Years later, many witnesses eagerly came forward to each recount their stories of alien or UFO encounters. While some accounts were objective, others were bold and colorful or even falsified. In 1978, Major Jesse Marcel, Intelligence Officer from the Roswell Army Air Field base, when asked about the debris, said, “There was all kinds of stuff—small beams about three eighths or a half inch square with some sort of hieroglyphics on them that …could not be broken, could not be burned. I even took my cigarette lighter and tried to burn the material … But something that is even more astonishing is that the pieces of metal that we brought back were so thin … the boys came to me and said: ‘… I tried to bend the stuff … I even tried it with a sledgehammer. You can’t make a dent on it.’”

Another account includes that of Gerald Anderson in 1990. He claimed that in 1947, he along with his family encountered a crashed “spaceship” along with four of its passengers. He characterized the aliens stating they had eyes that were “oval-shaped, and very, very big. They were a bluish color. Not blue like in human eyes, sort of a milky blue.” Having only been extremely young at the time of the crash and yet, remembering in such excruciating detail led many investigators (except Stanton Friedman) to discredit his claims. Ironically enough, months after the interview, Anderson returned with a diary from his Uncle Ted, conveniently detailing the crash as well. However, there were immediate contradictions. For example, Anderson initially described the alien eyes to be blue while the diary stated they were black. Whether the diary was falsified or not, Uncle Ted had “died” before he could defend his book or the ink used after his death.

The Roswell UFO Incident remains a popular conspiracy theory and holds great cultural significance within our society. Like Area 51 or Orson Welles’ War of the Worlds, the Roswell incident is a prominent theme in television, literature, and music.

For example, the lead vocalist of the Foo Fighters, Dave Grohl, has a strong interest in the supernatural. Their band name is actually an old term for describing UFOs and they have even gone to the extent of naming their record label Roswell Records. The Foo Fighters have also performed at the Roswell Air Force Base and even at the very crash site. Whether one believes the stories or not, this cultural icon is definitely here to stay.