Though the four cabinets holding bundles of old Tattler issues (and other random objects) have never quite kept a distinct location, their history remains the same. Being archivist of The Tattler allows me to explore the tales and stories that once lived in the halls of IHS. Whether you enjoy history a lot or not as much, I’m sure you’ll find something you’ll enjoy in this section. Without further ado, here’s just a handful of these pieces, dating all the way back to 1892!
Editor’s Note: Excerpts are selected to provide a window into history and The Tattler’s past. To preserve historical accuracy, The Tattler does not edit excerpts from the archives.
October 1999
Anonymous Advice Person
So, I didn’t get any letters. But I’ll tell you what. If I had gotten a letter, I probably wouldn’t have known how to respond. Someone told me that last month’s “advice column” was “retarded.” Ooh! That made me sad. It was because they cut out part of last month’s due to lack of space.
In the COOL part I was advising people not to see The Blair Witch Project because ever since I saw it, I haven’t parked in my garage. And there wasn’t even a garage scene in this movie. I also stated that if you live in a scary house with a stone and dirt basement in the middle of nowhere and you have little blackened hand prints on your walls, you shouldn’t see it. I slept in my mom’s room for a week after viewing this “film” (a.k.a. home video). I am such a scaredy cat, though. (How do you spell that? … scaredy cat … the spell check doesn’t even know… hehehe.)
I’d really like some letters. I mean, I’m a month into this and I ain’t got nothin’. If you think this is retarded, don’t tell me because that is SO not politically correct. (Hehehe).
XOXOXO,
Your Mom
October 1925
A COOL CUSTOMER
By MARTIN HESS ’26
How Peabody happened to get there was more than he could figure out, and just at present he was too busily occupied to solve the problem. That he had reached the place in a hurry was evident
and that he should remain there for quite some time was equally evident. In fact, he was in a rather embarrassing position for any self-respecting Englishman. So, rather than solve the mystery of his arrival, he was figuring out how he was going to get away and by what means.
However, one thing seemed to delay him. He could not bear to leave, and the mere thought of it made him shudder. Pathetically he hazed about and every now and then his sight fell upon one very terrifying object. Colder and colder grew his place of repose, for which he had rented at reduced rates for the winter season. At last he could stand it no longer.
“Shoo! Beat it! Scat!—You nasty, cruel beastie,” he shrieked in desperation, but the placid, meek polar bear cub merely moved an ear and licked his chops in anticipation.
“I’ll—I’ll—I,” began Peabody, but fright made him forgetful of what he was going to say.
By this time Bruin had sat back on his haunches, and with a hurt, disappointed look gazed sadly up at his newly found companion, as much as to say, “Come on down and let’s be friends.” But Peabody had an entirely different view of the situation.
“I say now, old chappie, let us call off the party and have our fun some other day when we can have more time.”
Buster just wagged his tail. Yes sir, Buster had a tail. Usually bears don’t have tails, but this one being an enterprising young cub, and seeing the value of one as an aid in chasing flies, had a homemade one installed free of charge.
How did Peabody escape with his life? That is a long and terrible story, yet it ended fortunately for Peabody.
You see, he sat there so long, and worked himself into such a frenzy of despair, that he melted right through into his living room. The sorrow-stricken Bruin headed for home, taking mental note of the queer actions of the common icebungalow.
September 2001
Words of Wisdom
By ABRAHAM HALPERT
A word to all Freshmen: You are now emerging into the great rodent race of life. Sitting down for the first time at your first desk, in your first HIGH School class, signifies your metamorphosis from a helpless infant into a vicious, heartless, adult, accountable to everyone for all of your actions. Departing from the trivial, miniscule world of Middle School and entering into the extraordinary and momentous universe of High School, you will be assaulted by a mighty infinitude of changes and strange happenings that may shock and overwhelm you. This author considers it his humanitarian and Christian duty to prepare you to meet the challenges you will face, and to advise your actions so that you may survive this harsh world of treacherous backstabbing and administrative bureaucracy.
Advice the First: You should keep lunch in your schedule, at least for freshman year, because lunch is a valuable time to wake up and collect your thoughts, and to finish homework for later classes without being pestered by teachers of the class you’re attending at the moment.
2: NEVER EVER EVER leave campus during your lunch period, because this is a serious offense and a terrible sin. (Your conscience will hold you accountable.)
3: Your teachers will appreciate it if you tell them that they don’t have to write you a pass to the Nurse’s or wherever, because it is a bother for them. Just carry a small slip of blank paper and no one will apprehend you in the hallway. However, concerning passes, early on in the school year you should make sure that you are late to each of your classes once and obtain a pass from your previous class, to show your teachers that you are responsible and will not be late without a pass.
4: If you ever feel the urge to kiss a classmate, make sure to do it between classes and stand in the middle of the hallway. This display will boost morale.
5: Be certain to answer as many obvious and simple questions as you can during class discussion so that you will not be called upon to answer interesting questions that require thought.
6: When speaking with your teachers outside of the class period, you should feign interest in the subject that they teach so that they’ll favor you.
7: Keep up with the reading in English. It’s not a good thing to fall behind on. And be sure to do the reading in the math textbook before the class period so that you have a good idea of what you’re getting into, and are prepared to ask the teacher questions that will help you understand the material. You can also cover for the 90 percent of the class when you’ve got no idea what’s going on.
8: Enroll in Latin class. It’s the only language in which you’re GUARANTEED to have a great teacher.
9. When picking science and math classes to take, talk to your older friends about which courses and teachers to ask for. Different people like different teachers and different subjects, and your friends should be able to tell you which ones you will enjoy.
10: Make friends with as many faculty and staff as you can, because the more heavy hitters you have up to bat for you, the more likely it is that you will get what you want. Just don’t go so far as to suck up, because nobody likes a brown-noser. […]
13. When running the mile in Phys. Ed., on your third lap, sprint to the finish line so your teacher will think it is your final lap.
14: Lastly, continue to uphold the honorable and noble tradition of Ithaca High School and never stop in your question for truth, knowledge, and an Ivy League acceptance letter.
February 1929
A Thought
When happiness bestirs the air,
And flowers blossom everywhere,
Then is the time that you shall see,
What the world was meant to be.
When birds return with their joyous cry,
And lakes and streams and brooks are high,
The world forgets the winter past,
In the joy that spring has come at last.
Here peace and happiness should reign supreme
And everything should sunshine beam,
Then the world would take an see
What the world was meant to be
–Ester Howley
October 1937
School Sees Numerous Changes
Speaking about the past…
Did you know that once in the dim past the mighty IHS football squad defeated the Cornell Varsity? It’s a fact. This astounding bit of information was acquired when our genial principal was persuaded one day to divulge some facts about our alma mater as far as he remembers it. His reminiscences were extremely interesting.
Fifteen years ago the total enrollment of the school was eight hundred students. There were chiefly local pupils, as the state would not pay the tuition for outsiders. At that time the emphasis in teaching was on the academic subjects because more than 75 percent of the graduates entered college; now the percentage is approximately 33.5 percent. The commercial staff consisted of three teachers.
Our predecessors had a much tougher time of it than we. At one time they weren’t dismissed from school until a quarter of four. Imagine it! All unfortunates taking history were compelled to spend five periods per week in the library. Also they took regents in practically every subject they studied. The number of required exams has recently been decreased as the state board could not handle so many.
Incidentally, did you know that the principal’s office was once a part of our present library? The door into the corridor which is locked, was the entrance. Also if you look sharply in rooms 110, 209, 234, and 310 you might still see traces of partitions which once divided these classes into two rooms, each seating twenty-
eight students. This was done before the erection of the Junior High when the Senior High was so crowded.
What is now our school store was once a school bank, where students maintained a regular checking account. Of course, there was no cafeteria then, but they spent their money for refreshments which were sold at the window in the lower hall, and ate their lunches at tables placed there.
Our present system of mixed home rooms is one of comparatively recent origin. It used to be arranged so that the south entrances were reserved for boys, and that side of the building was filled with all male homerooms; while the girls entered and occupied the northern wing. Believe it or not, there actually was a great deal of opposition from the pupils themselves when the homerooms were finally mixed.
Another high spot in Mr. Bliss’ recollections was the fire which destroyed Foster Hall in 1932. Occurring in the night, it burned the stage and several classrooms. At first it was feared that the murals on either side of the stage were ruined too, but they were scrubbed up and came through alright.
Mr. Bliss enjoys talking about the history of the school, and if you are interested sometime, perhaps he will delve into his souvenirs and bring out old pictures, blueprints, and more interesting stories for you.
—C.A.C.