We all have that cousin,
Oh, you know the type,
Your parents tell you all about them,
And it keeps you up all night,
So let me show you here and now,
About their afternoon,
Because they partake in the kinds of extracurriculars,
That make even Harvard swoon,
Their GPA? Double digits,
Their Olympic medal count too,
Pulitzer, Nobel, multiple times,
But what else could they possibly do?
With these figures you can already tell
They have their life intact
But they only need a singular hand,
To surgically remove a cataract
But don’t be bothered, because with the other
They sauté, and season, and fry,
Because being a three star Michelin Chef,
Takes more than what meets the eye.
They finish up just in time,
To get some practice in.
And they get to the airport right on time
Because they can’t miss Wimbledon!
Their chef whites undoubtedly catch the eye,
As the ball moves back and forth.
When they finally hit that infamous backhand,
They’ve blown away the court.
After leaving with the biggest prize,
They still have time to spare.
But I can very clearly tell,
You’re already pulling at your hair.
So they’ll hop onto their trusty boat,
With their dreams, and sails unfurled.
And it only takes them a couple of minutes,
To circumnavigate the world.
Ding dong,
Who could it be?
Open the door!
Commander in Chief?
Dabbling in foreign diplomacy,
Certainly wasn’t in their plan,
But how do you turn down a president’s offer,
To be the ambassador to Japan?
I’ve told you about their evening,
And surely we should be through,
But they still manage to cook sixty-second rice,
In only fifty-two.