I stole from the rich,
And flipped a penny to the poor,
Now watch as they cheer and shout.
They forget that indeed,
Right up my sleeve,
I have a bag of gold coins to tout.
Call me Robin Hood.
Pass a dollar to the homeless,
Keep ‘em silent.
But down my pants green bills run and prance,
In a beautiful eternal dance.
A penny for the poor,
A fortune for me.
Who cares as long as King John doesn’t see?
If tax collectors come knocking,
You’ve got the poor to keep ‘em talking.
Cause that’s life as a thief;
To keep the poor happy is key.
They’ll hide you and help you it seems.
For just one loaf of bread, to you they’ll sell their heads.
It’s worth a pittance for an army apiece.
They say I steal from the rich,
And I give to the poor.
But what those poor fools don’t see,
While they take me in for tea,
Is that I keep most of the money for me.
My portfolio grows larger,
My stocks, trust fund, and feed.
For while I dine like a fiend,
I’ll lend a penny to the lean.
Call me a king,
The miser sings.
The rich man drops;
The poor man rots.
I’m Robin Hood, a thief for my own gain.