The twenty-eighth annual International Rutabaga Curling Championship started behind schedule last month, as the Rutabaga God, needed to light the Rutabaga Torch held by the Rutabaga Goddess, was stuck in traffic on his way to the Farmer’s Market. Since 1997, the event has been held during the last Farmer’s Market of the year, only moving online in 2020 due to the pandemic. According to organizers, this season’s edition almost hit another snag, as a “rutabaga shortage” has swept the area.
Fundamentally, rutabaga curling is a very basic sport. Competitors take turns rolling rutabagas (root vegetables related to turnips and cabbage) down a thin lane towards a target spot on the ground. Whoever’s tuber lands closest wins. The origins of the Championship were spontaneous, with vendors curling along the floor of the market to pass the time and warm their bones. The modern playing field is long and, lined with hay bales sporting ads for Vegemite, the imaginary “Round Things Bowling Co.,” and the fictional “Pro-Am Edible Herbaceous Track Meet Invitational,” commercialized. Epitomizing this maximally wacky nature is the opening ceremony. It starts with the aforementioned lighting of the Rutabaga Torch, continues with a parade of the competitors led by the God and Goddess, and concludes with a rendition of “Rutabaga Chorus” (based on George Frideric Handel’s Messiah). Spectators dressed in costumes ranging from Chewbacca to “Rutabaga Ginsburg” crowd the market in anticipation.
The first bowls of the day take place in the Turnip Toss, introduced in 2008 to give younger throwers a place to cut their teeth before jumping in with the big fish. The first toss was given by Mateo Riley who was accompanied by his father Josh, congressperson for New York’s nineteenth congressional district, in what Josh described as “by far the best honor I’ve had in my professional life.” While the Turnip Toss is altered slightly from the Curl, the referees, clad in black and white stripes like their NFL counterparts, take no liberties in enforcing the rule of law. Throughout the day, violations like stepping on the starting line or attempting to roll non-rutabaga result in shredding of the offending vegetables and disqualifications from the event.
After the Toss, the first of three heats of curling begins. Dozens of athletes line up for their shot at glory, each bound mostly to the whims of the rutabaga rolling on the bumpy wooden floor. After a full hour of bitter competition, a final round comprised of the best performers from the regular groups decides the podium. This year’s results were historic, with third place Michael Vega beating fourth by just one eighth of an inch, and father-son duo Henry and JT Tompkins taking first and second place respectively.
Although the bitter cold had thinned the crowd, many remained to witness the conclusion of this session of the long-running and truly Ithacan tradition. Smiles were to be seen all around—a sign of success for the event, which has always been, fundamentally, about having fun and being together.
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