Estate Sale of the Unclaimed House

Content warning: addiction, human trafficking.

These are the eccentric belongings of an unknown family, found in a house which fell from the sky. Inspectors found pictographs within the house rendering a girl and two adults in alarming detail. These three are believed to have possessed the house, which will itself be auctioned at a later date.

    The present sale is conducted by the Mayor’s Committee on Estate Liquidations, as there is no Munchkinland-recognized trustee to the house and its contents. The catalogue consists of five oddities.

ODDITY NUMBER 1: Container woven from stiff straw. Has two lids which open outwards with a hinge in the middle and a wooden handle. Inside is padded. Some fur included. 4.5 hands by 6 hands. Bidding began at 5 green pennies. Item went to an anonymous member of the Lullaby League for 5.

    Munchkinland has caught up with the Emerald City’s frontier in bedding; inspired by cushioning found within the container, denizens have moved from collective nests to individual beds. Some are hopeful that the Lullaby League’s services may no longer be required.

    The fur has been collected for gene sequencing; though specialists can’t identify what animal this fur belongs to, they hope to bring this species back from presumed extinction. Things look promising for the goal of Oz’s repopulation and diversification.

ODDITY NUMBER 2: Bowl of unidentifiable material; opaque white with glassy sheen. Patterned with ochre flowers. Crumbly, bone-shaped items presumed made of grain within. Diameter: 2 hands. Bidding began at 10 green pennies. Item went to the Lollipop Guild for 23.

    The Lollipop Guild has since used the bowl’s contents—“biscuits”—to formulate a new brand of sweet; these “cookies” are taking the market by storm. Grain is now in demand, prices have risen, and the fruit industry is faltering. The apple orchard is grateful for the reprieve.

    The bowl itself has been resold to an Emerald City buyer, who is attempting to recreate more of the bowl’s material. Experiments suggest bone is required for the material’s synthesis, calling the nature of the bowl and its creation into question.

ODDITY NUMBER 3: Set of three glass bottles, varying in fullness. All liquids within are shades of brown with cloying scent. Bidding began at 5 green pennies. Item went to the Mayor for 7.

    Unknown what the mayor did with them; he was found unconscious on the lawn of his manor a few days later. Clutching one of the bottles, he had a lurid smile plastered on his face. Officials are advised to test liquids previous to auction in future.

    Poppies have proven useful in recreating the liquids, drops of which were found within the empty bottles on the scene. These drugs, which prompt anesthesia in consumers, may be on the market soon. Some are capitalizing on two trends at once with poppy biscuits, an edible form of the euphoric effect so many are now seeking.

ODDITY NUMBER 4: Black-furred animal with pointy ears, stout snout, and prominent tail. Cannot speak; occasionally makes strange noises when approached. Must be contained; will otherwise escape. Weight: 1 stone. Bidding began at 105 green pennies. Item went to Winged Monkey on behalf of Witch of the West for 346.

    The “dog” is the first non-monkey animal to join the Witch of the West’s army; others are predicted to follow suit. Munchkins have begun arming themselves in anticipation of the greater threat the Golden Cap now poses. They are advised to keep any non-speaking animals indoors.

    However, it seems the army may grow anyway—the fur remnants seized for experimentation have been identified as dog fur. Progress on cloning has since been halted, but labs are expecting the Witch will be putting orders in for pups soon.

ODDITY NUMBER 5: Magicless girl in blue gingham dress and silver slippers. Brown hair of medium length. Responds to “Dorothy.” Must be contained; will otherwise escape. Height: 15 hands. Weight: 7 stones. Bidding began at 200 green pennies. Item went to Witch of the North for 1048.

    The Witch of the North’s intentions for the girl are unclear. Offers have already been made for the girl’s brain and heart, among other organs. 

    Scraps of conversation between them have been caught; words like “home” frequently heard. It seems Oz may be getting intel soon on worlds beyond its ken. 

    The Wizard has made comment on the purchase of the girl, demanding it be released promptly. The Witch of the North has yet to respond in public.