Posts published in “April Fools’”
April Events
Apr. 1 Apr. 3 Apr. 12 Apr. 17 Apr. 18 Apr. 21 Apr. 23 Apr. 27 Apr. 29 Apr. 31
Toxic
With a taste of your lips, I’m on a ride You’re toxic, I’m slippin’ under With a taste of a poison paradise I’m addicted to…
The Tiny Man
There once was a man named Luvelle Whose head was as shiny as a bell He had only one plight And that was his height…
B-Squared
Brown and Bradwell sitting in a tree Brainstorming how to cut teacher salary When push comes to shove It’s the Culture of Love A normal…
I’m afraid of lots of things Bicycles, tricycles, barbecue wings Raspberry jam, potato sack races Chapstick, hurricanes, untied shoelaces Bumblebees and runny noses Fire hydrants,…
The Great Nate: Football’s History
Football is the most popular sport in America, with millions of fans across the country at both the collegiate and professional levels. But despite its…
Netflix Announced New Series with IHS Teacher
Netflix just announced a new history-inspired series relating to the French Revolution and the Napoleonic Wars, which will be released on August 39. Local French…
Olivia Rodrigo Breaks Her Arm: IHS Students in Shambles
Despite the conspiracy theories floating around claiming that she’s alive and well, The Tattler is proud to be a reliable source here to tell you…
After the Finale: Teacher’s Island 2023 Recap
After the riveting season five of Teacher’s Island, we finally have our winners, the pair who have been named the Teachers of the Island. This…
How to Portray the Most Authentic Version of Yourself (Scamtos Edition)
Whether one desires to gain a seat in the US congress or a city council, one must demonstrate an incredible background and strong ambitions, and…
Check Your Source: The Origin of…Supreme Overlord Dr. Brown
As IHS descends into a murky future, torn between succeeding from the United States or remaining a small, measly high school, one may wonder what…
Why The Tattler Should Replace The Annual
Since before the dawn of time, there has existed a bitter rivalry between our school’s two publications: The IHS Tattler and The IHS Annual. The…
It’s no surprise that IHS is on a steady decline to demolition. We have recently surpassed the one hundredth day of the 2022-23 school year,…
In Support of IHS’s New Support Animal Regulations
For decades, IHS faced a serious problem: no one knew the rules regarding support animals at school. However, on February 31, 2023, IHS remedied this…
Uncontroversial Takes: Relocation of Administration Personnel to the Top of Highway 13
The relocation of ICSD administration personnel to the top of Highway 13 is not a polarizing issue, and multiple perspectives are not appreciated. However, because…
A Plea to the IHS Administration: Rid IHS of the Following Insufferable People
The halls of IHS have become filled with students who prey upon our downfall. Coming to school and being subjected to the presence of these…
A Letter to the Editor: The Columnist’s Manifesto
Dear Editor-In-Chief, In response to the alarming turn taken by this newspaper in supporting the secession of ICSD from the United States, I, a frequent…
News Bites
Krispy Kreme to Stop Donut Sales at IHS By A KRISPY KREME SPOKESPERSON Since 1995, Krispy Kreme has been an easy way for organizations to…
IHS Bans Breathing in a Radical Attempt to Discourage Vaping
This week, it was announced that the administration of IHS has officially banned students from breathing to combat the vaping epidemic in IHS once and…
ICSD Resorts to Using Students to Fill Open Staffing Positions
Hear ye, hear ye, students of ICSD! Have you been searching for a simple way to enter the workforce? Look no further than the many…
Jay Barnes to Replace all Admins
On March 12, District Superintendent Luvelle Brown announced his resignation. So did Ms. Hardesty, Mr. Trumble, Mr. Mitchell, and a number of other administrators. These…
New IHS PE Course Requirement: The Basics of Fighting Zombies
Imagine there’s nowhere to run because everything is destroyed. There’s no one to go to, because they’re all being attacked. You have nothing to protect…
Bake Sales Send IHS into Economic Depression
As of April 1, IHS has officially declared a state of emergency. “There’s no ignoring it anymore: IHS is in an economic depression,” Big Luve…
Why ICSD Should Leave the United States of America The innovation and progress of the ICSD has been stifled by federal and state restrictions for…