She sat staring at herself in the mirror. Existential crisis? “Am I allowed to self diagnose?” Yes, existential crisis. Acute. SOS. “You will not sit…
The Tattler
A Kid Named Moes
There once was a fat kid named Moes, So large he could not see his toes. He kept eating his sweeties ‘til he got diabetes,…
Most Every Sunday
Most every Sunday the man is here, sipping from a ceramic coffee mug and playing himself in rock paper scissors. He has hair like an…
“I Feel as If My Life Has No Porpoise”
Tristan’s Angst: PE Department Proposes Adding Fun to Curriculum
In a recent press release, the IHS PE department announced the addition of fun to gym classes under the new PhUN (Physically United Nation) curriculum.…
Horoscopes
Virgo (Aug. 23–Sept. 22): Danger would not be so scary if it were obvious. Don’t ever take your eyes off your back; a close friend…
The Coolness Spectrum
COOL Home football win Uggs on Timbs Brain Team’s #6 national rank Apple Fest Pumpkin spice Bigly Brain Team Gym warm-ups UNCOOL
Editorial: How to Solve the Student Debt Crisis
More than ever, the issue of student loans is gaining attention in the United States. Approximately $1.3 trillion in student loan debt is spread out…
The New Teachers’ Contract is More Complicated than You Thought
Adam Piasecki is the president of the Ithaca Teacher’s Association (ITA), which recently came to a long-awaited settlement with the Ithaca Board of Education (BoE).…
Noah Sorensen’s Ride for Hunger
This summer, IHS student Noah Sorensen ’17 took on quite the daunting task. With only his Bianchi Volpe bike and a few essential supplies, he…
The 2016 National Technology Student Association Conference
On the night of June 26, 2016, 19 students departed from IHS on a 13-hour bus ride to the Gaylord Opryland Resort in Nashville, Tennessee,…
Discussion in IPD about Banning Jaywalking; IHS Students Divided on the Issue
On July 19, the Ithaca Police Department (IPD) announced that there would be an increase in the enforcement of jaywalking laws. In a media release…
The Truth Behind Truancy, or Why You Should Skip Senior Skip Day
“Senior Skip Day” is a day during which seniors at our school (or any school) commit mass truancy. It is a long-held and hallowed tradition…
September Electoral College Prediction
Following the massive gatherings of both the Democratic and Republican party elites at their respective conventions earlier this summer, our nation now braces itself for…
The Case for Graduating Early
As of February 3, 2017, I will be in Palmerton North, New Zealand, high-school diploma already in hand, although I’m currently a senior. How is…
Heroes & Villains
Heroes: Najih Shaker Al-Baldawi, an Iraqi Muslim who hugged an ISIS suicide bomber to absorb the detonation at a shrine, saving countless lives. Muhammad Ali.…
The Case For Trump
The only thing I hate more than Donald Trump is an echo chamber. So, for the sake of diversifying the political discourse at IHS, I’ll…
A Day at a Farm
I found myself in the rustic fields of Brooktondale, 10 miles or so out from Ithaca, on a clear and sweltering Tuesday morning. A single…
Restaurant Review: Texas Roadhouse
Having lived in Texas for the first half of my life, I felt that the Texas Roadhouse that opened up on South Meadow Street this…
Pretend It’s Summer Once Again
Most of your friends were jet-setting the globe, racking up numerous internships for their resume, managing to write a perfect college essay, studying for the…
Club Feature: Green Team
A strange phenomenon occurs when ICSD students make the transition from the middle schools to IHS. Suddenly, a disregard for compost grows, and the compost…
Life after College: Graduate School and Entrepreneurship
High-school students rarely spend time considering the future, not so much out of inability to do so as pragmatism. Freshmen have all the challenges of…
Center Spread: Four Defining Moments of the Summer
Hall Monitor
To the Tattler editors: What is one thing you should never do in your freshman year? Magda Kossowska ’19 (Pictured Above) – “Don’t get involved…
A Circular Argument
A circle never struggles to make ends meet A line going forever in repeat It’s perfect, but saying it’s the best because it’s the best…
This Is Not a Confessional
I sat down in the metal folding chair, ready to talk, and, hopefully, ready to be listened to. I knew exactly what I was going…
I Thought I Found You
I thought I found you Sitting by the chestnut tree Your hair then Longer than it used to be I thought it passed, time…