Recently, during a candid staff meeting held deep within ICSD, a department head declared that fun and games are not, in fact, supposed to be part of the curriculum. She also announced a plan for the removal of both fun and games within the next full scholastic year. Sources say that horseplay was affirmed to have made the list of relegations from the curriculum. With this denouncement of all antics, shenanigans, and friendly competition in the classroom, school is bound to look very different for most students.
For privacy reasons, this article cannot disclose which IHS department head made this announcement; however, students and administration leaders alike are reeling from this ballsy, anonymous statement. Questions that had never before been considered have arisen, such as: Who has the right to place fun in or out of the curriculum? Are tomfoolery and ballyhoo really a detriment to our education? Will teachers be willing to readily toss aside Kahoot? Will students who formerly filled the niche of “jokester” and “class clown” soon have to resort to bookwork and algebra? And, most importantly, how does one define “horseplay”?
When students came to school on Friday to find the new rules about curriculum posted on large boards, public outcry reached a climax. Some say they saw Trumble riding off into the countryside on a Western steed, having finally thrown in the towel, but this report cannot be confirmed. Several students were also seen deliberately having fun, which would be, in effect, prohibited behavior under the proposed regulation.
Later in the day a student-run coalition of panicked freshmen and noble seniors set up chessboards in every classroom and staged a tournament in protest. Late after many hours of the interminable stalemates of unpracticed chess players, John “Westwig” Yoon ’16 came out victorious. However, when he was asked about how he would use his publicity to overturn the fun/games/horseplay situation, the senior sadly shook his head and wondered aloud if maybe it was for the best.
With a Yoon-family elder backing the policy, reaction to the new curriculum guidelines may simmer. It is this writer’s opinion that the conservative viewpoint of a respected Asian senior may allow more antsy students to slow down and consider the downfalls of the inclusion of fun and games in the curriculum. Rhetorically, though, accusations of fascism have proved to be very provocative, especially in the community at large. Ithaca’s branch of the Democratic Socialist Party has even asked for permission to identify and publicly humiliate the unnamed department head by trashing her front yard with compost. Mentions of horse droppings were said to possibly be added to the mix, but sources cannot confirm this rumor at this time.
Only time will tell the success of this regulation. With curriculum rules constantly evolving, students must learn to be adaptable and reasonable. As we move forward in the classroom without fun, games, or horseplay, we will be forced to continue to expand our knowledge and redefine our identities as students. It is quite possible though, in this tumultuous time, that the worst has yet to come. Wring fun from the stale sponge that is education, and do it quick—while you still can.
