Since before the dawn of time, there has existed a bitter rivalry between our school’s two publications: The IHS Tattler and The IHS Annual. The Tattler is the monthly student newspaper, written and produced by IHS students, for IHS students, at no cost to the public whatsoever. The Annual is the yearbook, published once yearly for the very low, very modest price of seventy-five dollars. Although the controversy has been long unresolved, both sides have always known that The Tattler is the clear superior. Therefore, it would be in the best interest of the entire IHS community for The Tattler to permanently take over the production of the yearbook.
The Tattler is published once a month and covers content ranging from editorials about IHS issues to album reviews to abecedarian poetry to horoscopes about baking shows for a total of ten issues each school year. The entirety of the approximately forty-page issue is curated, written, and edited within three to four weeks. Then it’s printed and distributed, all glossy covers and sweet-smelling newsprint, ready to showcase the diverse and thought-provoking work of the IHS student body. Each Tattler issue release has the entire school buzzing with euphoria; in fact, multiple fights have broken out this year among students trying to seize the last copies of The Tattler for themselves. The Tattler is so cherished by the greater IHS community that a Tattler fan club and fan Instagram account were established at IHS earlier this year. A reworked yearbook with The Tattler at the reins would certainly be well-received by the student body.
In contrast, The Annual is published a grand total of once a year and is made up of blatantly staged “candid” photos of people you’ve probably never met or care about, accompanied by unoriginal captions. Graphic design might be a part of the making of the yearbook, but that’s also a huge part of The Tattler. Just check out the Back Page and Centerspread. Therefore, Tattler editors are more than qualified to replace the yearbook. How different could it be? Besides, the yearbook includes student interviews and surveys, which Tattler editors and writers are already overqualified to handle. With the expertise and innovation of The Tattler, The Annual would finally be able to rise beyond its mundane, mediocre label of “yearbook.”
Should The Tattler take over the yearbook, productivity would surely skyrocket. All of the staff and writers of The Tattler work consistently outside of school hours, meeting only once each week to produce the glorious publication you see each month. Each hour-long meeting is filled with productive, professional discussions of the principles of writing and no distractions. There is absolutely nothing off-topic or tangential said at Tattler meetings, trust me. This is repeated four times a month and results in a polished issue, released promptly at the beginning of each month with no delays. It’s not like we’ve ever had issues released in the middle of the month before. Compare this to the work schedule of The Annual—yearbook staff hold multiple meetings each week that last for unreasonable amounts of time, all for only one published issue per year. The sheer disparity in productivity rates is staggering, and Tattler involvement in the production of the yearbook would solve this immediately.
This brings me to my next point: the yearbook is unreasonably expensive. 75 dollars for a book of random teenagers is absolutely insane, as is the “discounted” price of 55 dollars. Every student at IHS has, at one point or another, asked themselves, Where is all that money even going? Obviously, some of it is going towards the actual printing of the hardcover yearbook. Another portion of it, however, is spent on meals for the yearbook staff. That’s right: yearbook “editors” are regularly indulging themselves in Thai takeout with the money they make from the grossly overpriced book. In contrast, The Tattler is completely free and accessible to anyone and everyone and actually provides the public with quality content. Tattler editors also don’t waste time eating takeout during their highly productive meetings, where even bathroom breaks are frowned upon and snacks are unheard of. If The Tattler took over the yearbook, editors would not even consider wasting their precious time with things as mundane as eating or sleeping. The price of the book would be drastically reduced, but the quality would most certainly be improved because Tattler editors and writers are just unbeatable.
Furthermore, replacing yearbook staff with Tattler staff would definitely improve the working environment of the publication. The current yearbook environment strongly resembles that of a cult. Joining the yearbook staff is completely voluntary, but once you’re in, you’re never out. You never truly leave the yearbook until you graduate, and even then, you’re never free from it because of your lingering trauma. Even if you try to leave, they will hunt you down and use all manner of threats to get you back in. One former yearbook staff member stated in an emotional personal testimony, “Every time I see a yearbook kid in the hallway, I have to hide for fear that they’ll come up to me and start spouting nonsense, trying to get me to come back. My experience with the yearbook has left me with such bad PTSD that I can’t log into SchoolTool without getting panic attacks.” No one can expect productivity or cohesiveness to come from such a terrifying working environment, and the Tattler staff are the only ones who can rescue the innocent freshmen who have been indoctrinated by The Annual.
By now, the answer to the age-old question should be evident. The Tattler is obviously and undeniably better than the yearbook. Anyone who thinks otherwise is deluding themselves. Only by giving The Tattler full control over the yearbook can IHS produce a publication that truly showcases the best parts of the student body.
The true journalists having fun without spending students’ money, courtesy of a non-yearbook photographer
