It’s official: IHS will be hosting the 2028 Summer Olympics! In the coming months, students can expect many changes to accommodate this decision. Construction for the games will begin on April 1, starting in the Quad, as it will need to be filled with two tons of sand for various events.
Even more exciting, along with the conventional events held at the games, IHS plans to add a few events unique to our school. All students who currently attend IHS are required to participate in order to graduate, and should start preparing themselves for intensive training for the event. Seniors that graduate in June of 2025 are still required to participate; if there is any refusal to do such, they will be forced to redo all four years of high school and withdraw from any college they were already attending.
A detailed list of the special IHS events, along with their projected locations, is as follows:
Hallway traffic hopping, G-H Hallway: Students will be timed on how quickly they can shove through the crowded G-H hallway intersection. The hallways will be packed with students as tightly as humanly possible, and contestants must shove through all of their students. They will be forced to follow paths going up and down the stairs, and to run through both sides of the hallway. If you knock a student over, or crash into somebody to the point of injury, you must start from the very beginning with the clock still ticking (Ms. Hardesty will be keeping a close eye on this!).
“Musical Chairs,” Library: The Library will be filled to max capacity with students, and every five minutes, two chairs will get pulled out. Students will fight for chairs, and the one sitting for the longest amount of time without getting their chair pulled out from underneath them will win. The rules? Absolutely NO saving seats for your friends in any way, and you can take any chair that is not being occupied. Each person who does not place in the top three will be required to write a ten-page single spaced research report on the implications of climate change and submit it to the one and only Mr. Heurich.
Botanist Relay, Q-Building to the Botanist: Students, in teams of five, must race from the outside entrance of Q-Building to the Botanist. Students must run back and forth from IHS to the beloved beverage shop (with a new beverage in hand each time) without being caught by admin. Additionally, students can only carry the drink by a spoon in their mouths, with no lid on the drink. Bonus points will be given if more than one drink is brought back by a single runner. The team that collects the most drinks in thirty minutes will win!
Duck Duck Race, Quad: Assuming the ducks in the Quad make a return, they will be invited and encouraged to take part in this event. The ducks will race across the length of the Quad (bonus points if the duck can outrun Ms. Hardesty driving out the skunk with a broomstick). Students and staff will each be assigned to a specific duck, and will be expected to thoroughly train them to be able to perform at optimal ability for this competition. Trainers are expected to develop whole-hearted connections and relationships with the ducks. Any rumor of mal-training practices with the ducks will automatically result in disqualification in the games, and trainers will be forced to wear six-foot long flippers everyday for the rest of their time at IHS. The three ducks with the fastest times will get a spot on the podium, right alongside their trainers.
UL Pick Up, entirety of IHS: Students will scavenge for lunch trays, half-eaten apples, oranges, or salads left splattered on the ground, collect them, and return them to the cafeteria. They will also be expected to thoroughly clean all trays they find, and properly dispose of the food scraps they collect. There are no limits as to where students can search for items to collect, as there are likely items just about everywhere, in hallways, on sidewalks, up air vents, and some might even find lunch trays flushed down toilets. Thus, the possibilities are endless. Students will be watched under careful supervision through cameras placed inside of the clocks in the hallway. The three students with the most compelling performance will be the ones who place on the podium.
The 2028 Olympics are sure to go down in history as one of the most memorable Games. Meetings have already been scheduled between counselors and students to sign up for events, and training sessions for the events will begin in the coming weeks. Despite being a few years away, these games are not to be taken lightly and must be of top priority for each and every IHS student. As Acting Principal Ms. Hardesty put it, “This will be a truly monumental, once-in-a-lifetime event, not only for our school itself, but for our students and staff. Let’s work to make it a truly Luvelle-y experience.”
Be First to Comment