After decades of community tensions over the ICSD budget and ever-climbing property taxes, Cornell finally gave in to community pressure to do its part in supporting local public school students. Following its motto “to do the greatest good,” the Ivy League university announced last month that it will grant admission to all IHS graduates willing to pay more than their public school teachers’ salaries to attend.
Community organizers have long argued that Cornell’s ability to attract the best faculty is dependent on the quality of ICSD’s schools, and it seems this argument has been persuasive. Since the university’s shocking announcement, eighteen Nobel Laureates and seven Fields Medal winners with high-school-aged children have agreed to move to Cornell. Most notably, professional science guy William Nye has recently accepted a professorship at the university, admitting he is now “much less worried about [his child’s] prospects.”
Thanks to Cornell’s generosity, ICSD has been able to cut spending drastically, firing half of its teaching staff, slashing all athletic and foreign language programs, and auctioning off the school library. “The rates of Ivy League admission speak for themselves,” Principal Martha Hardesty explained. “As long as the kids graduate, they don’t need anything else to succeed.”
In a rare moment of unity, Ithacans from all walks of life celebrated the consequently reduced property taxes in a three-day “Cornell is Gorges” festival characteristic of the Ithaca spirit. The Bernie Milton Pavilion hosted a full night of performances, beginning with the Yellow Deli’s drag rendition of “The Wicked Witch is Dead.”
Mayor Robert Cantelmo attended with his children, telling The Tattler that he hopes to make this festival an annual celebration, if not quarterly. “I’m going to Cornell!” one of the mayor’s toddlers exclaimed, echoing the excitement of Ithacan families for generations to come.
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