In a recent press release, the IHS PE department announced the addition of fun to gym classes under the new PhUN (Physically United Nation) curriculum. “We feel it’s very important for students to have fun and be engaged in school,” noted one teacher. “Under the new curriculum, students will see an increase in testing in gym. The previous SLO exams and occasional tests just weren’t enough.”
Also as part of the curriculum change, the school pool got a renovation after years of complaints about the water, which at certain times may have directly absorbed oxygen from the air and replaced it with chlorine gas.
However, the addition of fun to the curriculum will bring other changes. “Rather than play sports in gym class, students will take long tests and quizzes with questions about the rules of different sports and fitness,” said Billy Bozawkowitz, a spokesperson for the Department of Unilateral Mindless Bureaucracy (DUMB), the sponsor organization of the new curriculum. To preserve some semblance to the old curriculum, the mile walk will be kept under the changes. “We feel this will make kids who never even changed for class eager and excited to come,” he continued.
In the past, the PE Department relied on SLO exams, a few quizzes, and a final exam at the end of the semester to make its courses fun. “But under the new curriculum, the nearly constant testing will provide a mountain of data for the DUMB,” noted Bozawkowitz. “We have no idea what we’ll do with all of it, even if it’ll be in any way important, but we’re sure students will love the change!” he concluded.