Pisces (Feb 19 – Mar 20):
Pop-up ads: No matter where you go, no matter how productive you are at the moment, they will always follow you.
Aries (Mar 21 – Apr 19):
Side-bar ads: You never know when you might accidentally click on one.
Taurus (Apr 20 – May 20):
Billboard ads: They’re such a waste of space!
Gemini (May 21 – June 20):
Video ads: NO, I DON’T WANT TO SWITCH TO GEICO©!!!.
Cancer (June 21 – Jul 22):
Cable ads: Half of them, I don’t understand what they’re selling.
Leo (Jul 23 – Aug 22):
Ad 1 of 2: Should burn to ashes.
Virgo (Aug 23 – Sep 22):
Door-to-door salesmen: It’s a waste of my time and theirs.
Libra (Sep 23 – Oct 22):
Superbowl ads: Isn’t it ridiculous what advertisements have come to?
Scorpio (Oct 23 – Nov 21):
Drug ads: Half of the ad time is just side effects interluded with happiness-joy-happiness garbage.
Sagittarius (Nov 22 – Dec 21):
Movie trailers: They’re either too short to understand what they’re about, or too long and give away the whole plot of the movie they’re advertising.
Capricorn (Dec 22 – Jan 19):
Unskippable video ads: It’s a waste of my time and the company’s money.
Aquarius (Jan 20 – Feb 18):
Children’s toy ads: They’re loud, obnoxious, cringy, and all the same!