Scorpio (Oct 23 – Nov 21):
Tea: You are diligent and reserved; you drink it because it’s cool, not because you need it.
Sagittarius (Nov 22 – Dec 21):
Orange Juice: Despite its acidity level of 3.5, you’re quite basic.
Capricorn (Dec 22 – Jan 19):
Coffee With Milk: You decided to start drinking it because your parents had so much left over. At first you hated the taste, but you quickly began to ignore that as your addiction to caffeine took over.
Aquarius (Jan 20 – Feb 18):
Mountain Dew: It tastes terrible, but there are so many memes about it that you can’t help yourself.
Pisces (Feb 19 – Mar 20):
Milk (or your preferred substitute): It tastes good, it has good nutrients, end of story.
Aries (Mar 21 – Apr 19):
Water: You think you’re sooo smart.
Taurus (Apr 20 – May 20):
Whole Milk: Every other type of milk is just water!
Gemini (May 21 – June 20):
Red Bull: The ads were so vague, that you didn’t even know it was an energy drink at first.
Cancer (June 21 – Jul 22):
Smoothie: You like fruit, but the peels drive you insane.
Leo (Jul 23 – Aug 22):
Carbonated water: You think you’re sooooooooooooo smart.
Virgo (Aug 23 – Sep 22):
Melted Ice Cream: That’s not even a drink.
Libra (Sep 23 – Oct 22):
Plain Coffee: You have a weird sense of taste.