Disclaimer: Many of these ratings were written before bathroom monitoring was instated and is not indicative of the current air quality.
HS’s air is just so bountiful, clean, and makes me feel like I can do anything!” has been said by exactly zero students in the history of IHS. Many have already gotten hospitalized from the school air alone (this is unfortunately, not a joke). Our youthful lungs can only take so much of this, so to help preserve the quality of your health, we’ve professionally examined the air quality in each of the buildings at IHS.
A rating of 1 means the air is perfectly safe to inhale, and a rating of 10 is dangerously toxic and completely unsafe for anyone to come into contact with.
K-Building
Kant Breathe: 5/10. This hallway has caused me to have unknown allergies. I am sneezing, sniffling, quaking even, my timbers are shivering. It’s actually so bad. It’s also warm… maybe a bit too warm. At least while I was there for first period last year.
Cho King: 3/10. One of the only safe spots to breathe in the school, except it’s miles away from the other buildings. Hopefully, your lungs don’t collapse on the walk here from the air in the rest of the building.
G-Building
KB: 7/10. Upstairs G is where all the classes you slack in congregate (sorry History class). But downstairs G, is where you will get a pop up screen saying “new smell unlocked!” every other day until the day you graduate with how many novel and interesting smells condense there. G-Hallway makes Bath & Body Works seem like an average home bathroom with its collection of scents. If you wanna smell something new, no need to go to Bath & Body Works, just go to G-Hallway…
CK: 8/10. Upstairs G is generally fine, but classrooms tend to get abnormally warm and mucky, especially in the winter months. On the other hand, downstairs G deserves a full air quality examination in itself. To preserve your health, I recommend skipping your class(es) every other day if you have it in G-wing, so that you only breathe this air for half the year and preserve your lung health for an extra half year.
F-Hallway
KB: 1/10. The air is fine, I can’t speak too much for the portion that leads to the recording rooms. What I will take issue with, however, is the amount of food on the floor during and after lunch. Sadly, this is a review of the air, not the floor, so it won’t affect my rating.
CK: 1/10. Usually this hall of the least of your lung’s concerns any time in the day. That is until it’s right before lunch. As soon as the bell hits 11:33am, it becomes a complete and utter hazard to any and all students and educators. Don’t risk it unless you accept this air quality will lead to your fate before graduating high school.
H-Building
KB: rät/10. Gas leaks, dead rats, bunsen burners. I mean the gas leaks and bunsen burners aren’t bad but I really do not have great memories of the smells of the dead rats under the floor (thanks unspecified freshman bio teacher). Maybe the the H₂S gas or whatever else is coming out of the AP Chemistry room is a bigger cause for concern but I’m sure the massive fan can take care of it.
CK: 20/10. From the smell of dead rats, or smoke from Chemistry labs, this building checks every box for hazardous and lethal air based on our very scientific research on this topic. To survive in this environment, invest in a top-quality scuba mask, diving tank, and Hazmat suit. This is the only possible solution to staying safe in this corner of IHS. Might be a little costly, but you don’t want it to end up costing your life.
J-Hallway
KB: 3/10. A significant upgrade from dead rats and burnt plastic in H-Hallway, the doors to the outside world of freedom carry the entire hallway but isn’t enough to carry the smells coming from the bathrooms that are closed for maintenance ninety percent of the time…
CK: 2/10. Nothing too hazardous. Sometimes unpleasant if the bathroom door is left open after a number two.
Library
KB: 1/10. The best part of all the seasons. The only place in the school with good heating and cooling all year round but most importantly, it is clean and doesn’t smell questionable every other day. It’s a safe zone so long as you can manage to acquire a chair, if not then you’re playing Five Nights at the Library (as opposed to Five Nights at Freddy’s).
CK: 1/10. A safe haven to breathe and relax your lungs after a day full of intoxicated air. Since it’s already a quiet, zen area, we will send out a petition the second this article is published to make the Library a permanent meditation zone, that will require every student to visit at least five times a day to relax our breathing and lung strength. All those in favor of this are willing to make changes for the greater good of the population of IHS.
The Quad
KB: -99999999/10. FREEDOM, FRESHNESS, LIFE AND MOST IMPORTANTLY, GRASS! ALL HAIL THE QUAD, OUR SAVIOR FROM SOME OF THE NASTIEST HALLWAYS, OUR CURE TO EVERYTHING CAUSED BY THE HALLWAYS!!!!!! THE QUAD IS OUR PANACEA!!!!!!!!! QUAD IS LOVE!!!!!!!!!! QUAD IS LIFE!!!!!!!!!
CK: Super duper amazingly perfect/10. I couldn’t have said it better myself. *tear drops* Truly deserves an award for rescuing high school students from the insides of the building.
E-Wing (At least when it was there)
KB: 8/10: Very red. Maybe it was borderline biohazard level with the mix of the E-Hallway bathroom air and the metal dust and shavings floating around from the machines (I am not making it out til 9 p.m.).
CK: N/A/10. Could not rate because I prefer not to risk my life upon entering the dungeons of Code Red (will be held captive until 9 p.m.).
D-Hallway
KB: 1.5/10: Relatively inoffensive, the only things to complain about are the occasional sniffs of clay or whiff of paint. (Note: Paint sniffing is not condoned)
CK: 3/10. This hall is generally safer, given that it’s less connected to more general classes throughout the building. The air gets a little dry in the winter, but overall is much more safe and cleansing than it is in other areas of the building. If you find yourself suffocating in G or H building, take a walk over here to take a little breather before you continue your suffering.
Gyms /C- and Q-Wing
KB: basketboll/10: The C bathrooms are awful and basically a non-leaky version of the bathrooms in E-wing. The Strength and Conditioning room single handedly ruins the entirety of the Q Gym area with how damp, sweaty, moist and salty that room is most of the time… It’s alright when the windows are open though if not a bit dry.
CK: N/A/10. Usually, I don’t have a sense of the air quality in this area, as I take extra caution in putting on precautionary gear to avoid any toxins in the air. Can’t take any chances after walking into the same area those gym tryhards run around in.
A-Building
KB: 10/10. Please fix the orchestra room heating. It has been years. We are genuinely boiling alive in there. This is a cry for help. Help us.
CK: 4/10. Honestly, this is a nice breath of fresh(er) air after walking around all day. Sometimes the air can feel a little heavy cough, cough, orchestra room. Stay away from the bathrooms outside the music classrooms though… there’s a good chance you’ll wind up with some sort of infectious, unheard-of disease after being in there for approximately 0.01 seconds.
IHS school air is a very serious problem that must be taken care of before anyone receives an email from the library about free food. (We love the community closet and food it supplies by the way!) Think about all the things you want to accomplish after high school. How are you going to see an “after” if you allow yourself to constantly respirate in this type of environment? Take this as a sign to act now, as rationally, or irrationally as you’d like, because lethal school air is not to be tolerated.
Be First to Comment