March 14 marked everyone’s favorite day of the year, the annual IHS Relay Race. Teams of teachers get pitted against each other in a battle for the title of “Best RelayTeam at IHS,” and things usually take a turn towards chaos. To give a brief breakdown to those who don’t know, each year on a random Friday in March, IHS teachers split into teams and race around the track in an epic 4000 meter relay, each teacher running 400 meters. The winning team receives a special prize, and this year’s prize was a massive three hundred pound cherry pie in honor of Pi Day. All the losing teams get a punishment, and this year’s punishment was live streamed on TikTok by our very own Ms. Dobmeier! If you check the IHS Student Hub, you can watch the recording of over two dozen teachers getting pied in the face.
This year’s teams were truly impeccable, with new and improved team names. First we have the Skunk Reactions, predominantly composed of the Science Department, and led by the most nonchalant teacher of them all, Mr. Tuori. Each member of this team brought a packet of energy gels, which may or may not have been created by this year’s AP Chemistry students… Aside from the Skunk Reactions, other notable teams were the Admin-vasion, the Duck Lovers, and fan favorite, the Globe Trotters. Admin-vasion was led once again by Acting Principal, Ms. Hardesty, who made sure to pull out all the stops in creating the dream team. Mr. Hovey, Dr. Brown, and Ms. Little were all spotted at the IHS track over February break, but was this training enough for a win? The Duck Lovers are a group of animal loving teachers, including Ms. Thompson and Ms. Zawel. Then there’s the beloved Globe Trotters. Each year, Mr. Kelly and Mr. Jordan take the globe bit a bit far, and dress up in inflatable blue and green spheres, covered in markings of their students’ favorite cities. This year, the globes had a new member, Mr. Sheldon, who donned the blue and green outfit with some sparkly pizazz.
At precisely 3:21 P.M., and with a “Three, two, one!”, the relay started, but it wasn’t a strong start for most. Mr. Fellman took the lead first for the Skunk Reactions, calculating the air resistance to determine his perfect speed, but was quickly overtaken by Ms. Seifert whose chants about mean and median gave her momentum to push ahead. Admin-vasion and the Globe Trotters weren’t far behind, making it seem like Admin’s winter-training was paying off. The Duck Lovers, on the other hand, took a more slow and steady approach, with Mr. Riess choosing a leisurely stroll over an all-out sprint.
Excitement rose as the race reached its end, with Ms. Hardesty and Mr. Kelly neck and neck. But then just as victory seemed within reach for both Admin-vasion and the Globe Trotters, disaster struck; both Ms. Hardesty and Mr. Kelly tripped over a bright pink TI-84 graphing calculator that was thrown into the middle of the track. This catastrophe allowed for the Duck Lovers to sprint ahead, securing the victory with a time of 49:03.28.
Following the race, the Duck Lovers were awarded their pie, and all the losing teams lined up for the pie-ing with Ms. Dobmeier ready to record. Given the slight complication at the end, admin has created even stricter guidelines for spectators at next year’s relay: no bags, no shoes, and no clothing with pockets can be worn, all to ensure nothing can be thrown onto the track next spring. Additionally, all calculators will be banned from IHS, because of the disaster they created for Admin-vasion during the race. The excitement from the relay race is surely enough to sustain students through the rest of the year, and everyone is eagerly waiting to see what next year’s relay will bring.
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