In a “not-so-top-secret” deal made last Thursday, ICSD purchased TikTok, saving it from any possibility of being banned in the US. How the district was able to make such a purchase, which is estimated to be well more than one hundred billion dollars, has not been fully disclosed. However, The Tattler has been informed that the district has been working to afford this purchase through various bake sales and Krispy Kreme fundraisers held throughout the school year. The new ad revenue from TikTok puts the district in an unprecedented economic position, and the Board of Education is stumped as to what to do with its new purchasing power. There may be many questions, but, as the administration insists, there should be absolutely no concerns. All in all, the new changes are said to be tremendously beneficial for the student body.
This purchase comes with a few changes specific to the academic environment at IHS. The school will now thoroughly encourage the use of cell phones and cell phones alone, as many students already have this app on such devices. In fact, for this very reason, IHS plans to ban all Chromebooks and computers from the school. All school-endorsed Chromebooks will be replaced with school-loaned cell phones, which will be available for pickup next week in the Library. Students won’t run the risk of forgetting necessary school materials at home or even, for that matter, ever have to bring backpacks with them to school; all they need is their phones. Along with this, IHS will also replace Canvas with TikTok, where all assignments are to be published and submitted. On top of this, everybody affiliated with IHS will be required to follow IHS’s main account “@ILUVEIHS” for daily updates and notifications from our school.
Additionally, the administration is implementing measures to censor any content that pokes fun at the school. Students who publish such hateful videos will have them shown in a full-school assembly in Bliss Gym. All students will be required to participate in a schoolwide discussion and then publish a TikTok reflecting on the experience. On top of this, to prevent students from viewing inappropriate content, teachers will be able to track students’ liked videos, saved videos, recent accounts followed, and any and all interactions made on the app. Any activity that seems too interesting for school will immediately be reported to Acting Principal Martha Hardesty. To ensure this behavior does not continue, students will be forced to watch videos of the admin doing TikTok dances for as long as Hardesty sees fit.
These are just a few of the remarkable changes IHS can expect in the near future regarding ICSD’s ownership of TikTok. We all have to thank none other than Superintendent Luvelle Brown for taking the initiative with this decision. When asked about this purchase in a recent board meeting, Brown had stated that he had not planned to make such a decision until recently, but firmly believes this will be transformational for the entirety of IHS. “I think this is the change we needed in order to truly foster a culture of luve.”
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