What’s Your Horror Subgenre, According to Your Sign?

Libra (September 23 – October 22)

Gothic: The oldies and the goodies—Frankenstein, Dracula, etc. Gothic is basically synonymous with horror to begin with—its dark castles and witchy vibes. Gothic horror is all about the spooky aesthetic, and it’s one you can get behind. You were born in spooky season, after all. Embrace it.

Scorpio (October 23 – November 21)

Action: You’re not saying that other horror movies are boring, per se, but it’s gotta have at least a little running or fighting in order to hold your interest. Plus, what are all these horror movie characters sitting there and getting murdered for? If it were you, you would have run, and you would have lived.

Sagittarius (November 22 – December 21)

Folk: No better way to learn about a culture than to know what they fear most! Monsters reflect the societal fears of the cultures from whence they came. From Irish wraiths to deep South haints, the whole spectrum of folk evils and their commentaries on society fascinate you.

Capricorn (December 22 – January 19)

Apocalypic: Let’s face it, you so would have survived the zombie apocalypse. Because what do you mean food wasn’t properly rationed? What do you mean they forgot to put someone on watch duty? You would have had all these things in order the moment you heard about the outbreak.

Aquarius (January 20 – February 18)

Lovecraftian: H.P. Lovecraft is your man. He, and you, thrive on the horror of what’s weird and outlandish. Madness? Right up your alley. Cthulhu? Absolutely. Everything about Lovecraftian horror is vast and cosmic, and imaginative beyond belief. And what’s scarier than what’s beyond belief?

Pisces (February 19 – March 20)

Psychological: We know you feel for your characters. That’s a superpower. But what messes with their brains definitely messes with yours. You don’t need blood or guts or death to find horror scary—all you need is a character who can’t even trust their own mind.

Aries (March 21 – April 19)

Slasher: You live for the blood and the guts. Nightmare on Elm Street, Friday the 13th, Scream… the classics are what you crave. Because those jumpscares are effective all on their own and it doesn’t need to be more complicated than that. If it ain’t broke, don’t fix it.

Taurus (April 20 – May 20)

Body: You like to feel things viscerally—physically, in your body. You like your guts to squirm, your skin to tingle. So other bodies working in ways they shouldn’t? That’s the ticket for you. Nothing better than a drug that makes people grow a second, evil face.

Gemini (May 21 – June 20)

Sci-Fi: AI will be the death of us all. You believe it fully and truly by this point. Therefore you must consult the experts on surviving evil tech: sci-fi horror protagonists. If they faced M3GAN, surely you can conquer whatever ChatGPT becomes.

Cancer (June 21 – July 22)

Supernatural: Vampires. Werewolves. Witches. They’re magical, they’re unstoppable, and they’re coming for you. The fantastical can be horrifying, but it comes with the benefit that you know it’s not real. Plus, some of those old vampire movies kinda slap.

Leo (July 23 – August 22)

Comedy: You’re funny. Comedy horror is funny. It’s a match made in heaven. And besides, you like the opportunity to make a good wisecrack in the middle of a movie. Normal horror is too heavy for that. Comedy is perfect.

Virgo (August 23 – September 22)

Paranormal: Don’t deny it, you’ve always wanted to run a paranormal detective agency. You would be so good at discovering aliens. Doppelgangers? You’re on it. Watching and reading paranormal horror is just your research.