Lettuce piled high Mayonnaise strewn everywhere No meat is in sight.
The Tattler
Don’t Panic It’s Organic
By CARTER ANDERSON, SAM GLAUBITZ on April 2019
Slimy fish love you. Lonely older men do too. Have an open mind.
Horoscopes: The Signs as Different Ways to Cook a Potato
By Tattler Editor-in-Chief on April 2019
Aries (Mar 21 – Apr 19): Mash it up, baby. Throw some butter in there! Some salt! Some pepper too, why not! Taurus (Apr 20…
Last week, IHS students were shaken by a sudden proclamation from the principal. “Attention, students,” Mr. Trumble’s voice said over the announcements. “It is with…
Enemies of the Library Book Sale Returns to Ithaca
By (?) on April 2019
For the third year in a row, Ithaca will host the Enemies of the Library Book Sale. The Book Sale, which will occur this April,…
Industry Giants Taken Down By #MeToo Win Big At Oscars
By RONAN FARROW on April 2019
The 91st Annual Academy Awards had some surprises when it came to winners. The Best Soundtrack winner, an audio clip published by the New Yorker…
Leftist Infighting
By ALLEGED WRECKER on April 2019
This week, IHS’s political clubs experienced an unexpected realignment. The Communalist Center Party (CCP), a club founded two years ago with the goal of spreading…
Maoist Boe
By THIRD WORLD PROBLEM on April 2019
With the fight against raising teachers’ salaries in full swing, Dr. Luvelle Brown and ICSD’s Central Administration decided to innovate their tactics. After a long…
Luvelle Brown Sues the Louvre
By THE GRAND LUVE PYRAMID on April 2019
On February 29, 2019, ICSD staff and students learned that Superintendent Luvelle Brown, better known as “Big Luve,” would be using the district’s legal team…
H-Courtyard Quarantined After Latest Senioritis Outbreak
By JULIAN PERRY on April 2019
Throughout March, thirteen members of the class of 2019 were hospitalized after showing symptoms for the serious medical condition known as “senioritis.” After it was…
Traffic Lights and Turn Signals in School: IHS’s Hallway Traffic Revolution
By Explosive Unicycle on April 2019
You find yourself walking at what most would consider a normal pace (~1.5 steps/sec) between the cafeteria and G-building to get to your next class…
The Ithaca Teachers Association has been negotiating contracts with the district since December, and union representatives were not alone when they arrived for that first…
Letter to the Editor
By JINHO PARK on March 2019
In last month’s edition of the Tattler, Isaiah Gutman writes an article asking where today’s “left” is. He explains the lack of a “left” in…
Board Meeting—Enfield Update and LACS Initiative
By VAYNU KADIYALI on March 2019
The Board of Education (BoE) meetings in late January and February were a time of reflection upon successes in the district over the past…
ICSD Moves Forward Addressing Lead in Water
By JULIAN PERRY on March 2019
February 2019 marked the third anniversary of ICSD shutting off drinking water in district buildings. Three years without drinking fountains. Three years of water coolers.…
For some students, learning in school is about more than just getting a good grade or test score. For the IHS Brain Team, knowledge across…
Restaurant Review: Shahi Pakwan
By VAYNU KADIYALI on March 2019
Having been a loyal customer of Mehak for nearly the past decade, I was hesitant to change my ways by trying Ithaca’s newest Indian…
Album Review: Weezer’s The Teal Album
By LELAND XU on March 2019
Cover songs, and to a lesser extent, cover albums, have always been integral to the musical medium and industry. They allow artists to perform established…
The CCOYO: A New Outlet for Young Musicians
By ADOWYN ERNSTE on March 2019
Can you imagine a fourteen-year-old performing Dvořák’s New World Symphony? To clarify for those non-music-geeks among us, it’s fast. And it’s hard. And it’s…
Telling Ruth Bader Ginsburg’s Story: A Cinematic Comparison
By ANNA WESTWIG on March 2019
My mother rarely watches movies, and if she does, it’s always within the shelter of owning the volume control and controlling the number of people…
Shmoop’s Scoop
By ADOWYN ERNSTE on March 2019
Knicks Fans—Don’t Get Your Hopes Up
By VAYNU KADIYALI on March 2019
At the NBA’s February 7 trade deadline, for the sixth straight season, the New York Knicks remained out of the playoff picture. On paper,…
The Physics Behind Figure Skating
By KATIE LIN on March 2019
At the 2019 US Figure Skating Nationals, 13-year-old Alysa Liu successfully completed a total of three triple axels. Most women who do this jump in…
Center Spread: Social Justice Week
By ABIGAIL GLICKMAN on March 2019
La Calle por Pueblo Nuevo
By TILDEN CHAO on March 2019
0 kilometers [the beginning] The only road in Pueblo Nuevo has no name. It has no driveways, no street lamps, and no mailboxes. Its…
I am
By AIRAKLAH CLANTON on March 2019
I am stubborn and realistic I wonder about death and the after-life I hear the Devil’s laughter I see Hell’s gates I want to understand…
Being
By ELEANOR RANDL on March 2019
When the cold begins to seep beneath my clothes, I watch the dogs with wet backs and soft eyes. During the quiet, they gallop…