Sagittarius (Nov 22 – Dec 21):
Recipes are for people who follow rules, not you. You’re just here to go with the flow without all those measurements and oven settings getting in your way. Either way, you’re sure your combination of gravy and cranberry sauce will be the best dish to grace the table come 7 PM.
Capricorn (Dec 22 – Jan 19):
You’ve spent the month leading up to Friendsgiving scouring every cookbook you own for the perfect cornbread recipe, and once you’ve found your holy grail, you plan to bake it to perfection. The recipe may take three hours, but to achieve cornbread greatness, those would be three hours well spent.
Aquarius (Jan 20 – Feb 18):
You woke up on Thanksgiving morning and decided you were going to bring drinks. That is until you realised everything was closed for the holiday. Three hours of driving in circles around town later you finally find one Dollar Tree still open; the only beverage they have left is bug juice. You’re already out the door with three jugs in hand before it occurs to you that this might not be the most festive of options.
Pisces (Feb 19 – Mar 20):
Thanksgiving is really too much of a social construct for you to be attending. You might drift in at some point for the company, but honestly you don’t plan on bringing anything but good vibes and many thanks. If anything, you’ll be there to appreciate them, not partake in the over-consumerism of America’s second-worst holiday.
Aries (Mar 21 – Apr 19):
Whoever assigned you mashed potatoes clearly doesn’t understand your brilliance. You really don’t have time to be mashing up root vegetables or waiting like a hundred years for the potatoes to finally soften. You were born to cook the main event, the turkey, and your culinary skill is wasted on lesser dishes. With your extra time while those potatoes soften, you might as well throw a quick turkey together, just in case they run out…
Taurus (Apr 20 – May 20):
Your family has been making stuffing the same way for the past nine generations, all the way back to your Granny Smith whose picture hangs above the family stove. You won’t be changing a single thing about the recipe, as you like to say, “If it ain’t broke, don’t fix it,” and Ganny’s recipe is certainly the best thing you’ve ever tasted.
Gemini (May 21 – June 20):
Turkey has always been your job, but baking the same thing year after year is starting to get boring. You’re sure your friends won’t mind if you spice it up a little this year and bring tofu instead. With enough spices and determination, it’ll taste exactly the same, or maybe completely different; you’re not really sure yet, but you’ll figure it out.
Cancer (June 21 – Jul 22):
There are too many kinds of pie. Apple, pumpkin, pecan, chocolate, lemon, lemon meringue the list goes on. You’re still not sure which one to make; they’re all so good for different reasons… But pumpkin is the classic you can’t have a Friendsgiving without, so you’ll bake that one. Or maybe apple is more of a classic…
Leo (Jul 23 – Aug 22):
Not only did you organise the best Friendsgiving ever, but you also did such a spectacular job that you forgot to assign yourself something to bring… The only thing left on the list is bread rolls, but that cannot stop your determination to make them the best bread rolls in the history of bread rolls. Complete with sprinkles and little sparklers.
Virgo (Aug 23 – Sep 22):
Deviled eggs, the truest of art forms. Or at least you’re pretty sure they are, but you’ve never actually made them, or rather you’ve never finished making them. You always get stuck somewhere because you can’t get one of the steps quite right. An egg-white crack, or your perfect spiral of pipped egg yolk goes crooked, and the whole batch might as well be ruined.
Libra (Sep 23 – Oct 22):
Mac-and-cheese, it’s easy, it’s quick, and it shouldn’t be too hard to avoid conflict while baking it. That is, until you discover the raging wars surrounding the inclusion of bread crumbs in this American classic. You’re not worried, with your ingenious plan, there is no way your friends will have any reason to fight. You’ll split the pasta in two and include bread crumbs on one side and none on the other.
Scorpio (Oct 23 – Nov 21):
Your opinions on green bean casserole aren’t important, what’s important is that your Friends need it for their Friendsgiving, and as the trustworthy and loyal individual you know you are, you will not disappoint them. It doesn’t matter that you’ve never hated a single food more in your life because this isn’t about you. You have to be strong and make the casserole.
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